Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I was diagnosed on the autistic spectrum but was always told that I am only 'slightly' autistic, as in if there was 100 people in a room then I would be the least autistic. As I have gotten older I am starting to see myself differently. I feel my autism effects me positively as at work or school I always wanted to finish jobs, I could not leave them. But I have always overthought social situations and sometimes overthink to the point I become overwhelmed. My two sisters are on the autistic spectrum too: one has severe anxiety and struggles a lot at school, whereas my other's sister's autism is the most high on the spectrum: she is the only one of us to go to a specialist school and struggles with her communication and has been told she has 'behavior problems'. To be honest, autism is something I have tried to avoid i.e I often avoid telling others that me and my sister's are autistic. But I think it is time I lean into it rather than ignore it. Looking forward to joining in discussions
Hi! get what you are saying but stopping hiding it is easier said than done. In my case, by avoiding autism I mean I do not talk about it to other people outside my family, ell people I am autistic. I don't really 'mask' any of what I do because I feel it is part of me- focusing on details, being 'awkward' so i only really change my behaviour socially eg eye contact, talking to people because I want to. I have had to push myself to be social as I want to have friends which make me happy. I think a lot of people mask because they do not want to be singled out and fit in, which is understandable given the lack of awareness and support.
Yes I find that I focus on details a lot. I am a uni at the moment and can work for hours on end making sure something is perfect.
Autism can have beneficial as well as deleterious effects. My eye for detail meant that both my master's and PhD theses were passed without correction. I have lost count of the number of PhD theses I have proofread for friends and colleagues. If masking/camouflaging your autism does not cause you distress or excessive exhaustion, then stopping, if you can, will probably bring little benefit.
Hello & Welcome
There is a saying "You can run, but you cannot hide" that may be appropriate here.When you say that you have tried to avoid autism, I suppose that has been through masking which usually is NOT a good thing.May I recommend that you stop trying to hide it and instead embrace it for what it is.It sounds like you are a very able person and have managed to survive for so long, but you don'y have to fight it.It will most probably wear you down and that's when more problems start to manifest.