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Parenting and rapid decision making

NAS89619
11 months ago

Hi there, new to this forum. 

My partner and I have a child under 2. My partner is autistic awaiting diagnosis but struggles to make decisions quickly. 

This can be very problematic for us as a family as it feels like we have to have a bruising time through trial and error before he'll get on my page. 

It's not very sustainable and doesn't make me very happy. Do I Vito him from decisions? Or is there any other ways?

Parents
  • 11 months ago

    Are there actually that many decisions that need to be made that quickly?! Unless it’s for a safety thing, which then all that matters is not putting someone at risk, I can’t think of another occasion where a decision would have to be made so quickly that you wouldn’t have the opportunity to discuss it. 
    what about setting time aside each day to talk about the current day and go through the next day to plan together? I also think as time goes on there will be less decisions as you will know how each other thinks as parents and will gradually put in place rules and boundaries that you have decided as parents together and will be aware of how each of you would likely feel about a situation. 

    you cannot just cut someone out of parenting because someone takes longer than you to make a decision! You must have known what he was like before you decided to have a child together, so it sounds like he needs some understanding from you, and you both need to talk to each other about how you’re both feeling and you need to let him know that you are struggling and finding things hard at the moment. 

    hope you figure things out! :) 

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  • 11 months ago

    Are there actually that many decisions that need to be made that quickly?! Unless it’s for a safety thing, which then all that matters is not putting someone at risk, I can’t think of another occasion where a decision would have to be made so quickly that you wouldn’t have the opportunity to discuss it. 
    what about setting time aside each day to talk about the current day and go through the next day to plan together? I also think as time goes on there will be less decisions as you will know how each other thinks as parents and will gradually put in place rules and boundaries that you have decided as parents together and will be aware of how each of you would likely feel about a situation. 

    you cannot just cut someone out of parenting because someone takes longer than you to make a decision! You must have known what he was like before you decided to have a child together, so it sounds like he needs some understanding from you, and you both need to talk to each other about how you’re both feeling and you need to let him know that you are struggling and finding things hard at the moment. 

    hope you figure things out! :) 

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