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Hello I am new

drnat

Hello, 

I am 29 and have just recieved a diagnosis of Asperger's. It didn't surprise me as I am not very good at communicating with humans. In actual fact people are a mystery to me. I am just sad that I never got the help as a child and the discusssion I have just had on the phone has left me feeling one notch below p** off- incandescent. Apparently I have brought comfort by telling them about my diagnosis as it explains a lot about x, y & z. I actually apologised to test the morals and reaction of this person. They let me apologise and thought it was justified. Being an Aspie feels like I have locked in syndrome. I really want to have friends and be like others but I am inept. As it goes I have just managed to lose a friend today through my inability to read certain social cues. I am not sure how my work is going to hold up. I feel like my whold life has been a nightmare. I took an IQ test and it would appear I am in the top 1%. I find that obtuse as this certainly does not appear something I can think my way out of. I want to be more than this. I wish to interact better with people but I fear I am beguiled by my astonishing limitations. 

  • One possible silver lining is that you've probably carried a lot of personal baggage through your twenties - unresolved issues, regrets, and feelings of injustice or lost opportunities that go round and round in your head.

    Having a diagnoses means - possibly - if you feel able to, and can think it through clearly, just dropping most of that baggage over the side.....

    It means you can finally explain situations that have bugged you for years.

    If you are able to see your way to it a certain amount of catharsis and clearing of the mind is possible.

    What do you put in its place?  Well some things about autism are written down in books. Initially its a bit scary to find this out. But you can build yourself new terms of reference. And there are plenty of people on here to help you do that, and plenty of websites, and loads of biographical accounts of one kind or another.

    OK the social difficulties won't go away - they might ameliorate a bit with this new knowledge, and you can work out ways round things.

    But when its sunk in and settled a bit hopefully you'll feel a whole lot better.

    Best of Luck.