Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello
I'm 56. Recently diagnosed. My life is not a life. Total mess. I 'live' in isolation.
On Monday I am going to court because I am too poor to pay council tax. This is destroying me. They will not listen to me, I am struggling to do accounts in the time they demanded. I've had enough. I fear will be homeless soon.
I fought against the diagnosis. I'm devastated that I now know I will never be what I want to be.
I don't know what to do or why I'm here.
The more pressure they keep putting on me the slower I become..
It's all pain and loneliness.
I'm sorry this is such a crap introduction. I can't focus right now.
Oh bugger...you poor old soul. I'm in my 50's and have faced more than my fair share of s#*t of the ilk that you describe.
The hopelessness that you describe is no mystery to me either. Been there. Didn't like it. I know it well.
Don't panic too much about Monday. You can't pay.....it's not that you won't pay = courts can be sympathetic...and at the moment, they have little desire to f#*c people off out of their homes. This are bad for more people than "people" realise.
You strike me as bright and capable.....just a bit f#*cd at the moment. Although it feels like an endless stream of disasters...we haven't survived into our 50's without being able to "cope.". I do appreciate that, right now, you simply can't cope. . . . But you have to!
Your writing above is very resonant with me. Do not hesitate to send me a message if you want a chat (out of public.). I don't know if I can help you, but I do want to if I can. I know how dreadful it feels....but also know that things can and will improve for you.
Please stay sane.
Kindest regards
Number.