Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi guys. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now. It was always something about him that was different but it never bothered me.....until now. He has always played video games constantly and loves music. We formed a bond while working at USPS and I became a serial-entrepreneur afterwards. I still would work afterwards and make money. He decided to join me. He was tired of working in society. Fast forward after Covid, he never stays in a position long and makes drastic changes in life that I don't agree with. After about 4 years of dating he realized he had symptoms of ADHD.....! This guy is highly intelligent. I think that's what captivated me. He was a beacon of just at hand information and I thought it was cute.....until he started blurting out information randomly that has nothing to do with the topic of conversation, making things pretty awkward around company. Even so, I started noticing instead of being productive, he would watch the computer screen for hours listening to commentary about video games. I began to take the diagnose pretty seriously. After that, it took a toll on finances and we ultimately split. I wasn't sure if he had ADHD because he was never hyper-active. He got prescribed medication for it but I noticed it didn't make much of a difference. He then tells me he has a mix of a.d.d. and autism. What are helpful ways of understanding or coping with this type of individual. Will these type of people ever find a balance between work life and self harmony?
NAS89166 said:He then tells me he has a mix of a.d.d. and autism. What are helpful ways of understanding or coping with this type of individual.
First of all I would suggest he gets an official diagnosis as the symptoms of autism and ADHD have lots of overlap. Once you understand if it is one or both conditions then you can understand more about what is driving the impulses and what approaches are most likely to be effective.
What aspects specifically do you think he wants help with? He may be happy with the escapism at the expense of being wealthy so it is a conversation worth having and probably encouraging him to come to the forum to seek help himself.
Do you want help to restore the relationship or is it just to help as a friend now?
A good understanding of the basics of autism can be found here:
Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)ISBN 0764525476
Similarly for ADHD:
Scattered - how attention deficit disorder originates and what you can do about it - Gabor Mate (2014)eISBN 9781101153857
We are much better at giving meaningful advice here with a more focussed question so don't be afraid to try that approach.