Dating

Gonna need it!

Best of luck I hope you can find the girl you're looking for :) 

How do you send a private message?

My understanding was that sharing of identifying details in private messages was allowed although caution was strongly encouraged?

I am 23 I’m Cian and also looking to meet a girlfriend in the west of Scotland maybe we could work together and help each other find someone lol, go to nightclubs or something. Let me know if you want to talk.

ah good luck with that, im not sure how girlfriends work or how you even begin to get one so i cant provide any hints on this 

NAS88978 said:

I just came on here hoping I could find someone

There is not much scope for using the site as a dating app due to a requirement to avoid sharing personal details, but you can always join in discussions that you have an interest in and talk to some people here and maybe that would lead to something, but I would not count on it.

There are a few discussion threads on peoples experiences with apps and recommendations - in the top right of the screen there is a magnifying glass icon beside the pink Donate button - type in dating there and you will see the threads to read.

With your age and limited population in your area then I would suspect dating apps are the way to go. You will find most other people in your age group use them.

What you would do well to understand is the social rules around using the apps as it can be brutal. This understanding of the "rules" is pretty instinctive for non autists but a good place to start is looking up some articles on the internet. A quick search brought up this which looks good:

https://www.autismspeaks.org/expert-opinion/dating-tips-autistic-teens-and-adults

If you have a therapist then it would be great to have a frank discussion about your weaknesses in this area and how to address them. The reason being is that there is a tremendous amount of competition and your autism is quite likely to put some people off so you need to find people who are comfortable with your autistic (authentic) self or learn ways to be someone else (masking) and be happy that you are selling a lie.

Chances are it will be disheartening at times, but keep dusting yourself down if there are no replies / knockbacks, try to learn from them and after taking a deep breath, keep going.

A core piece of advice one of my first girlfriends gave me was to not look at other girls as objects or targets - think of them as people you want to know and treat them the way you want to be treated - with respect. This should be healthier and give you an edge over the majority of other "players" out on the market just looking for a good time.

Unfortunately given rule 2 the site’s not really the place.

I just came on here hoping I could find someone

My parents used to live in North Ayrshire.

NAS88978 said:

I'm looking for a girlfriend

Hello Eden, are you looking for advice on how to find potential girlfriends or just sharing your situation?

I grew up in the West Coast (South Ayrshire) and found the girls there to be much the same as th rest of the country so you don't be at any local disadvantage at least.

Let us know what you want to chat about and we will try our best to give pointers.

Thanks

Good luck!