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Awaiting assessment for formal diagnosis

schnozzles

Hi everyone :)

I'm a 42 year old female senior computer programmer who is currently only informally diagnosed by my therapist  - I've been referred by my GP but I gather it's a loooooooong wait for assessment if you're an adult. In the meantime my work are being great and so are my family and friends, and as I have therapy anyway we're already working on some of the issues I have.

I won't list all the Aspergers pointers that I have, but I scored over 40 on the AQ Test. I have fewer problems now than I did, say, 10 years ago, thanks to being high functioning and self aware. I've always referred to myself as a chameleon as I've always tried to blend in but until recently I never quite managed it. In fact even now I feel slightly apart. If you read the checklist at the back of Rudy Simone's "Aspergirls" book, it pretty much describes me. 

I'm seeking diagnosis partly because I'll always doubt it otherwise, even though my therapist is quite experienced. But it would mean having protecting in the workplace - I'm fairly sure my Aspergers got me fired a while back. And it means I can ask for help with some of the things I find really hard. It also means I might be able to go back to University as I could get help studying - vague questions and lack of structure were the bane of my University life....

Parents

  • Thanks for your comments :) Yeah I've been asked why I want an official diagnosis, as it's just a label and people think I cope perfectly fine. They don't understand the little everyday things I - we - have to cope with. I have trouble understanding facial expressions so am constantly on edge about whether people are happy, calm, sad, whether I've upset them.... I have minor meltdowns when I don't understand instructions. I get angry and frustrated (and default to crying) because I feel like I should be able to do stuff that I can't. I can't organise or tidy without someone laying down the "rules" for me. If by some miracle I've managed to create my own system for organising stuff, and someone moves things, I can't cope.

    The problem I have with all of this is that I'm an otherwise extremely intelligent woman who has developed a myriad of coping mechanisms. Yesterday my therapist showed me a sheet of facial expressions and I felt so vulnerable and scared. It's a process I need to go through but it's playing havoc with the rest of my life as I question everything and see everything in a new light.

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  • Thanks for your comments :) Yeah I've been asked why I want an official diagnosis, as it's just a label and people think I cope perfectly fine. They don't understand the little everyday things I - we - have to cope with. I have trouble understanding facial expressions so am constantly on edge about whether people are happy, calm, sad, whether I've upset them.... I have minor meltdowns when I don't understand instructions. I get angry and frustrated (and default to crying) because I feel like I should be able to do stuff that I can't. I can't organise or tidy without someone laying down the "rules" for me. If by some miracle I've managed to create my own system for organising stuff, and someone moves things, I can't cope.

    The problem I have with all of this is that I'm an otherwise extremely intelligent woman who has developed a myriad of coping mechanisms. Yesterday my therapist showed me a sheet of facial expressions and I felt so vulnerable and scared. It's a process I need to go through but it's playing havoc with the rest of my life as I question everything and see everything in a new light.

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