Published on 12, July, 2020
Good afternoon all,
I am 39 and since late teens always known that I do not think or behave like other people. My mum had recently been diagnosed with autism at 57 even though for years she has battled with mental conditions such as bipolar she was shocked to learn that she has had autism but in the positive of this she now knows why she has been struggling so much with herself/life.
now me, I have very similar traits to my mum and finding it extremely difficult to talk to anyone about it. Since her diagnosis it is the first time my mum has shared how she been feeling/behaving and acting and I can completely relate to it! No bright lights, patterns of repetitive behaviour, have to have a clock to keep eye on, no social skills (cannot sustain friendships at all)I have to have a routine, cannot be disruptive from what I am doing, people if out of sight they are out of mind including family. People think I’m stuck up/rude as I do not talk, see them or give them eye contact and more!
How did anyone approach it with a GP? I do not feel comfortable just ringing and telling them direct. It’s getting me down so much as I have always been strong and not let this get to me but cannot do this anymore it’s burning me out! This is the fist ever in my life I have reached out to anyone.
thank you
If you feel comfortable, consider bringing a trusted friend or family member with you to the appointment for support. Having someone there who understands your concerns and can offer emotional support can be reassuring.
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Angel1309 said:How did anyone approach it with a GP?
Try to think of it as having any other issue that you would go to the GP with - ask for a meeting as you want to talk about getting a referral for a diagnosis.
This is part of their job and they aren't going to bat an eyelid, judge you or talk about you behind your back when you are gone.
If you have the income then you don't need to go through the GP. A private assessment will cost between £500 and £2,000 depending on where you go, and it can all be done online.
You can also do an online test to see how high the probability is of you being autistic - just search for free online autism test and use one from a .ORG site. They are reasonably accurate and give you an idea of the questions you will get in the official assessment.
‘Some’ people will say you are like that because you have learned those behaviours from your mother. You know different, and when you speak to your GP keep the facts restricted to you and how you feel this disables you day to day. You could mentioned what workarounds you have found to try and help you cope, and ensure you tell them much this behaviour takes it out of you. You might be asked to compete an AQ10. Depending on the result, that along with what you say should mean they make the referral.
I'm sorry you're struggling with this, it must be really difficult knowing your mum has been diagnosed but feeling like you can't talk to her about it.
My though was perhaps as a first step it would be best to talk to your mum as she is (and I'm assuming here so sorry if I'm wrong) someone you can trust and who will understand. It might also be a relief for her to feel that you can understand what she has been going through too.
I would also recommend writing a list of all the traits and difficulties you have and then either write to your doctor explaining how hard this is for you to discuss it with them, or make an appointment, you don't have to give the reason when booking, and then have a note prepared to hand to them. I too found it difficult to make that first step and did a list of all my traits etc and I found it a huge help as I struggle to get my point across or remember what I want to say when I'm at a doctors appointment (or in any stressful situation!).
Good luck with it.
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. If you think you're autistic, you can ask your GP to make a referral for an assessment. Your GP will need a reason to refer you for diagnosis, so you need to explain why you think you could be autistic and how a diagnosis would benefit you. Give your GP some examples of difficulties you've had in areas like social communication and speech.You must have been through a lot of hardships but we are still here to listen to your troubles. Good things will come to you soon.
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time shooter 2
I suppose that is an option. I have told her about my behaviours in a round a bout way but don’t like to worry her as she has said already that she would feel guilty if any of her children are going through it. Thank you for the advice, I may have to take the plunge which certainly is out my comfort zone but the only way I can move forward
I know it's not what society tells us we should do as adults (whatever to that), but if the actual act of making contact is the main obstacle would it be possible to get someone else to call on your behalf (with you there)? Obviously it's not ideal but maybe your mum could help if you're comfortable raising the topic with her and if she wouldn't find it just as tough as you.