Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone. I'm the mom of two teenage boys, living in the US.
One of my sons I have suspected to be autistic for years, although so far he is only diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.
My other son has struggled with severe separation anxiety and sensory defensiveness and ARFID, but I frankly didn't believe until recently that he might well also be autistic - it wasn't as obvious somehow - I simply thought he was introverted and socially anxious and had sensory issues.
It's also clear to me that my husband, a stereotypical science nerd with very rigid habits (alongside many wonderful qualities), is autistic; and I myself also definitely have some neurodivergent qualities, although I think I have spent my life desperately trying to seem "normal."
As the one who has primarily been responsible for all the big parenting decisions (to homeschool, when and whether to seek various therapies over the years, how to gradually launch these two almost-adult boys into their next chapters, etc etc) - and having a natural tendency to worry like crazy, I feel like I go around with my heart in my throat a lot of the time. At least in the US, genuine understanding of the neurodivergent experience is a lot easier to find outside of the professional community (of therapists, psychiatrists) than within it, and so when one really needs help, it's hard to know where it's safe or productive to turn. I think that's the worst part - being desperate for guidance, and finding more MISunderstanding than understanding when one reaches to professionals for support. I long for a day when there are more neurodivergent people in the clinical community.
That's probably more than enough for now. Sending out good wishes to all of you!
Hi Calla, welcome to the community. Which part of the US are you in? I lived in Michigan for 5 years. I returned to the UK last year. I'm diagnosed autistic recently. My son was diagnosed 17 years ago (he's 19 now) and my daughter is in her mid 20s and self identifies as ADHD and is considering whether she is autistic too.
I wonder if you've considered an autism coach for your family. This was something I was considering before we moved back to the UK.
Hi Ottilie! Thanks for responding. We live in the Washington DC suburbs. I've been thinking along the lines of an autism coach too, but looking locally, I have found very little. I did recently learn of a group with neurodivergent coaches located somewhere else, but who do virtual appointments. I had hoped to find an in-person option, but virtual moght be better than nothing. I'm curious how you find the climate in the U.K., compared to the experience you had in Michigan...I suppose it's hard to make generalizations, but I often wonder if the US lags behind other countries in the way we approach autism...