Published on 12, July, 2020
Feeling abit lost. I was diagnosed last summer just after my 50th birthday. Idk who I am right now. I’ve done a degree and then a job I was shoehorned into my whole working life which has been v costly to my wellness. I’ve been in a marriage I was manipulated into for 24 years which I’ve now left. So now I have no home, job, I’ve moved counties and am starting over. Everything is disordered. Inside I’m so stressed. To get through my life so far I’ve masked …..so hard I’m now exhausted and ill. I don’t know how not to mask or who I am or what I do. After half a century it is second nature to pretend. I really needed to write this…
Hi, first of all well done on getting this far, you are very brave to start a new life, processing 50 years of life isn’t easy, I’ve been trying to work it all out for almost 2 years. You do wonder which parts of you are real or the image you created, maybe talk to a professional, you very well may be in an autistic burnout and need rest, I nearly drove myself mad trying to process it all, it became a special interest and led to a burnout, to be honest I’m still processing it. Take it slowly and don’t punish yourself, there is a reason why you are different and parts of your life when things went wrong weren’t your fault. Use your new life as a reset and just take each day as it comes, you know you are autistic and if you aren’t happy with something, don’t do it or alter how it may work for you. Take care.
Thank you. Wise words.