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fear of loud noises

our little man

hi everyone, our little grandson is just 3 and has recently been diagnosed with ASD. he loves going to nursery however, yesterday the fire alarm sounded and he was hysterical, he was so terrified and even the nursery staff couldn't calm him down,ever since he has been very subdued not his usual chatty self and refused point blank to go to nursery today, he spent the day with me instead but frequently asked when he would be going home. I thought that maybe he thought i was going to take him to nursery as usually he spends the morning with me and then i take him and he is so intelligent he knows the days of the week and knows this is our usual friday routine. Has anyone any ideas how to get him to go back, as he usually loves to go and thrives there. my daughter is heartbroken and is at her wits end as we all are. thanks sandra

  • hi all still not having any luck with going to nursery. his mum has now bought head phones and told him to wear them when he feels threatened by loud noise. he will take them in his nursery bag and has said he will go back. fingers and toes crossed

  • thanks crystal12, its such a problem, we will see if he'll go back mon and if he does then we will try to find a way round it. failing that i think as you say we may have to look at other suitable nurseries. thanks once again for your advice

  •  Hi - yes, what a shame it's in a shopping ctre!  As you'll be well aware, the problem you've got hasn't gone away, even if you somehow manage to persuade him to return.  At some point the alarm will go off again.  Unless you can track down the person who does the random fire alarm + explain so s/he could tip you off a day or 2 in advance, then it's just a matter of time.  However good the staff at his nursery are + however much he enjoys going, the alarm will spoil things.  I know you know all about this in a much more informed way than I do, but just from my perspective which I've taken from your posts, I think exploring other nurseries would be wise.

  • hi thanks crystal12. I so wish it could be that easy but his nursery is in a shopping centre and it would be impossible to know when the alarm would go off, the alarm on thursday was a random test. so i really dont know what the answer is except to change nursery to a standalone one however, he usually loves this nursery and they have been really good at spotting his condition and to move him might upset him further. today he refused to leave the house but after his dad told him everyone would be so proud of him he agreed to go back monday, but we are not holding our breathes as he can change his mind in the blink of an eye. i suggested to his mum that she might take him as far as the shopping centre and ask a member of staff who is his key worker and who he really loves, to meet him and maybe he would go up to the nursery with her. maybe my daughter could stay in shopping centre to see how he gets on, in case she has to go back for him. wish her luck, fingers and toes crossed

  • Hi again - just to add, he may at present be thinking the alarm will go off every day but he may or may not know the exact time?  So he'll be averse/anxious about ??  If you do a pictoral daily calendar then maybe it needs to go for longer than 1 wk + also he needs it to be explained to him all the days the alarm will not go off.  Obviously the nursery need to strictly adhere to that + if they ever change their "fire drill day" then you need lots of advance notice.  Good luck with everything.

  • Hi - the fire alarm would have come as a great shock to him, especially if he's got sensory issues related to noise.  None of is like the sound of a fire alarm, especially unexpectedly, then multiply that feeling by 5 or 10 + you get the picture.  I presume the nursery has a regular time/day to test the alarm.  Can you incorporate this into a pictoral timetable for him?  Then he could feel ok about going except for that time/date, or the nursery cd make arrangements for him so he was away from the noise when it was set off.  I noticed you said he understands the days of the week.  If he also understands time of day, days, dates etc then you can write it down for him on a calendar of similar.  Either of these ways of explaining things to him should hopefully be reassuring.