Hello
I just thought it would be good to introduce myself and to explain why I'm here and what I hope to achieve by joining this community. Before I go into depth, I am a mature student having worked on and off for twenty years or so in a variety of jobs.
As a child growing up in South Wales, I was never interested in what other boys did.
In nursery school, I was never interested in playing with the toys or driving the pedal cars. Instead, I was mesmorised my maps. I would find myself following roads, watching with delight that major cities would have roads coming in from all directions, meeting in the middle. Place names seemed interesting, and remember imagining Cork in Ireland to be a dark, foggy place (I went there as an adult, it wasn't).
During my early school days, while other boys were were playing football and running around, I was fascinated by the weather forecasts. At a very young age, I knew that 15 degrees celsius was 59 degrees fahrenheit, and that close isobars meant that we were in for a windy day. While they would watch Match of the Day for the football, I would be more interested in the leagues, watching with interest the movements of teams in the tables, and memorising the top scorers in each division, as well as the crowds that each team would attract.
When puberty hit, instead of chasing girls and staying out late, I would be in my bedroom, where the pop charts had began to fascinate me. While I enjoyed listening to the top 40 and watching Top of the Pops, I was more interested in the actual pop charts themselves. In my mind I was predicting the following week's charts, and feeling a sense of satisfaction if a song had risen as I had expected.
My teens came and went, and hitting 18/19 would see me drinking to excess. My social skills were pretty non existent, but drinking helped me to combat my fears. Unfortunately, it wasn't the answer, and I would find myself going too far every time and making myself worse, ending up getting beaten up or finding myself with unsuitable friends.
At the age of 23, I found myself unexpectedly in a relationship with a much older man who put up with me for 10 years. What kept our relationship going more than anything were our frequent holidays both at home and abroad. Nothing would make me happier than planning our days to ensure that we saw all the sights. Seeing the sights didn't totally fill me with pleasure - the fact that we had got there in the first place did.
When I was 33 my partner died of cancer. Work colleagues at the time said I seemed very calm after losing someone so close. They were probably expecting me to bawl my eyes out and reach out for help, but I carried on with my life. I soon found myself in another relationship - this time with someone of my own age - with whom I had a civil partnership five years ago, and who I love very much.
Five years ago I was working as a sales rep for a massive global company. Hours of motoway driving, deadlines and pressure saw me exhausted, and I went to the doctor to seek help. I was diagnosed with anxiety, then depression, and was put onto medication. The medication helped in some ways, but in other ways made me feel guilty, almost feeling that I shouldn't be taking these pills. That there was something more.
Three years ago I became friendly with a lad via the internet. He has Aspergers, and in some ways seemed a bit like a younger version of me, fascinated by technology and transport. He would post his planned itinerary for train journeys between cities, which always seemed more interesting than the destination. I didn't think any more about it at the time, but clearly he had some sort of effect on me.
Two years ago I met up with my cousin for the first time in many years. Her husband is an Aspie. Recently she was telling me about some of his traits, including his love of American TV drama, and how he watches the DVDs until they wear out. He will watch them and not consider any UK dramas.
Alarm bells started ringing. I'm the same with classic Doctor Who. I'll watch the "new" (post 2005) version of the show, but always find myself harking back to the old version.
One week ago I download the first chapter of "The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome" by Tony Attwood (it was free on Amazon). Suddenly, everything makes sense.
Imitation is mentioned - I was always mimicking teachers, politicians and Bruce Forsyth. In 2013, I find myself mimicking university lecturers, my mother in law and Bruce Forsyth.
Employment problems are a definite issue in my life - especially in terms of "team bonding" exercises which I feel are a waste of time. If I want to play, I shall go to a playground, not to an office. This has meant that I have always been seen as "that odd person who never joins in".
"Reactive Depression" rings so true. I withdrew into myself at a young age, which has had an effect on me ever since. Being diagnosed with depression was probably correct, but I am beginning to see why this was the case.
However, the piece in the chapter that raises all the flags is "Movement Disorder". I have never mastered the art of riding a bike, catching a ball is still an issue, and to this day I never hold my pen "correctly".
So, after reading this, I thought I would hit the internet and found this group. I guess the next step is to actually see a doctor and get a proper diagnosis, although I don't hold out much confidence of that. But we shall see.
So, that's me I guess 
x