Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed back in October of last year and since then I've just been a mess mentally, (worsening depression, anxiety, and self-hate). Before I was diagnosed, I was under the impression that I was struggling with just both anxiety and depression for most of my life and that these difficulties I've been having could be fixed. Now, however, I've been having difficulty coming to terms that I'm autistic, that the difficulties won't go away, and that I will have to find a way to work with them. I don't know how to accept myself.
I'm sorry you feel like this. I'm still struggling with self-acceptance two years after diagnosis, although it is slowly getting easier. Obviously your autism won't go away, but it is still possible for depression, anxiety and low self-esteem to improve in autistics; the fact that you are going to be autistic forever doesn't automatically mean that you will always suffer poor mental health as a result. I think acceptance can improve over time.
Is therapy of some kind an option? It might help you to process your thoughts and feelings faster or more easily.