Adult Undiagnosed Scared

Hello.  You have elucidated a few distinct elements in your enquiry.  It is good that you are questioning whether there is some conflation amongst those elements and not just presuming any particular connections.

Late realisation of autism (ie in your 50's) is a discombobulating head puck for anyone who has contracted a "Normie" life up to that point.  I am that man.

If your marriage is on shaky ground already, I sincerely doubt that bringing the realities of a late diagnosis into play is going to do anything other than complicate matters further.  I say this because of the comorbidities/sexual issue that you have also mentioned.

The wheels on the bus of autism diagnosis, acceptance and adaption turn VERY slowly...even if you go privately for the diagnostic assessment itself.

I believe that the self-processing and coming to terms with the reality of self-awareness simply cannot be successfully achieved quickly.

In your shoes, I would address the known elements of your challenges immediately and manage them as your sole and overriding priority.  From what you write, it is your marriage that fills this top spot.

Hard to say more without knowing more.  Send me a private message if you want to talk more openly - I would be happy to give you further opinion if you would like.

I've been through the wringer....at your age.  It is hard to endure and you can think you are just mad, bad or sad....and probably all 3!

Don't despair.  There is always help and hope.

I wish you well Mr Coolercoats.

Kind regards, Number.

Hello.  You have elucidated a few distinct elements in your enquiry.  It is good that you are questioning whether there is some conflation amongst those elements and not just presuming any particular connections.

Late realisation of autism (ie in your 50's) is a discombobulating head puck for anyone who has contracted a "Normie" life up to that point.  I am that man.

If your marriage is on shaky ground already, I sincerely doubt that bringing the realities of a late diagnosis into play is going to do anything other than complicate matters further.  I say this because of the comorbidities/sexual issue that you have also mentioned.

The wheels on the bus of autism diagnosis, acceptance and adaption turn VERY slowly...even if you go privately for the diagnostic assessment itself.

I believe that the self-processing and coming to terms with the reality of self-awareness simply cannot be successfully achieved quickly.

In your shoes, I would address the known elements of your challenges immediately and manage them as your sole and overriding priority.  From what you write, it is your marriage that fills this top spot.

Hard to say more without knowing more.  Send me a private message if you want to talk more openly - I would be happy to give you further opinion if you would like.

I've been through the wringer....at your age.  It is hard to endure and you can think you are just mad, bad or sad....and probably all 3!

Don't despair.  There is always help and hope.

I wish you well Mr Coolercoats.

Kind regards, Number.

Thanks all for the information.  Having just started looking into things I may have mistaken compulsion for impulsion or vice versa. My head is all over the place too be honest.  I'm working a 12 step program for the sexual issues which at the moment is working well.  Hopefully, I can continue to learn how this has all played out of my lifetime.  Thank you all.

PS. Number will drop you a personal message soon