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Mum of a 19 year old girl who has autism

NAS84447

I'm looking for any sort of advice,my daughter has autism and although it's been hard for her she's always had my support with everything,she's recently been saying some awful hurtful things like she had a bad childhood and how I'm such an awful person and she'll make up all these events (which didn't happen) , it's gotten to the point where I've ended up saying I don't think you should live with us anymore (myself and her siblings) so she took off ,the problem is I can't sleep because even though she's so hurtful towards me I can't help but worry about her,has anyone had a similar experience,people say I'm right and I shouldn't put up with it and I always make excuses for her because of her autism 

Parents

  • I imagine that if my mother had been sat here reading this when I was the age your daughter is, she would have been nodding her head and thinking, "I know how you feel, my daughter's just like that with me". To be fair, I didn't make things up, but I certainly didn't make her life easy, and this continued to be the case long after I had moved out and had a child of my own.

    It is said that we often lash out at those who are closest to us, and it does seem that this is what your daughter is doing with you. As she's 19, it could well be that your daughter wants to spread her wings, and not feel like she's got to answer to Mum. I apologise if that came across as offensive, but I'm just thinking back to how I felt at that age.

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  • I imagine that if my mother had been sat here reading this when I was the age your daughter is, she would have been nodding her head and thinking, "I know how you feel, my daughter's just like that with me". To be fair, I didn't make things up, but I certainly didn't make her life easy, and this continued to be the case long after I had moved out and had a child of my own.

    It is said that we often lash out at those who are closest to us, and it does seem that this is what your daughter is doing with you. As she's 19, it could well be that your daughter wants to spread her wings, and not feel like she's got to answer to Mum. I apologise if that came across as offensive, but I'm just thinking back to how I felt at that age.

Children
  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    It could be a case of that , however I'm pretty relaxed with her ,so she's never had to answer to me, she tended to be fairly violent with her siblings when she was younger so I had to prevent a few situations,like stand in the way but she'll say I hurt her, it was just purely I'd stand in between to protect her younger siblings,she's the same now but less physical and more verbal and scares the children from using certain areas of the house

    I've always been quite happy for her to move out ,but just feel she needs some sort of support and no it's not offensive Its nice to get a different perspective,I'm awaiting an Adult ADHD assessment and I think she's struggles with that as I'm fairly hyper and can sometimes drift through conversations,that would make her angry ,it's just really hard to concentrate