Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone. I'm Andy (He/Him), 49 and in the very early stages of heading towards a diagnosis. I've spoken to my doctor who has agreed to refer me to... I'm not actually sure which professional I'm seeing? Anyway, for ASD diagnosis.
I've been living in London with my wife for about 12 years, via Halifax, Leeds, Stoke-on-Trent, France and even Belfast for 3 years!
I happened upon a Youtube video from Autism From The Inside (I think his name is Paul Micaleff) with a link to the AQ50 questionnaire a little over a year ago. Out of idle interest I thought I would do the questionnaire I suppose thinking it was a bit like one of those buzzfeed "answer these three food-based questions and we'll tell you which Star Wars / Pokemon / Doctor Who character you are" type things. I came up somewhere in the low end of "you might want to seek a diagnosis" scale and thought that was interesting but dismissed it as it felt a bit far-fetched. I didn't really think about it until we had a couple of friends visiting over Easter. One of our friends had recently been diagnosed as an adult with ADHD and was talking through her experiences.
Over the next couple of months I did the AQ50 thing again a couple of times, as I think your responses sometimes depend on your mood. I got similar results but this time I was moving up the scale into the middle of it. I can't really remember what the questions are or how I replied last time, so I'm taking this as a fairly honest set of responses albeit perhaps with a bit more reflection. I mentioned this to my wife and we talked a couple of times. I eventually started looking into the possibility of getting a diagnosis, if not for ASD then maybe something that might help explain why I am the way I am (I'm not sure what that might be but hoping a professional might be able to guide me to someone can help).
I looked at the costs of private diagnosis and they are just so high. I've decided I can wait if I need to but I wanted to get myself on the waiting list. I never even knew that self-diagnosis was a thing! My doctor has been really good in the 12 years I've been registered with the surgery. He has helped me through switching antidepressants and took my request for referral seriously and listened to me. I'm hugely grateful for that.
I think that a combination of quitting smoking and the social distancing during the pandemic has left me a bit exposed in as much as I'm not as good at being sociable as I thought I was. I now realise smoking was part of a masking or coping behaviour which I've had all my adult life and not having the practice at social skills, I'm not quite the person I thought I was. I know others have got back to living a 'normal' pre-pandemic life much better than I have.
Anyway, I wanted to introduce myself and say "Hi". I hadn't meant to write so much! Oh, before I go, I really like (I mean LOVE!) Goth / 80s Alternative / Industrial / Post-punk music and bits and bobs of PC gaming - current favourite is Space Engineers but Skyrim, Fallout 4 and Cyberpunk 2077 have all stolen many many hours of my time.
Hi Gothish Andy!
As a recovering Goth myself, I appreciate the name. I think a lot of goths are what we call neurodivergent in one way or another. It sounds very much like you're on the right path.
Pandemic was hard for me too- just hitting me how much socialising I didn't do anyway.
Have you tried the Horizon games yet? I got totally immersed in them for a while.
Hi Glitter,
Yes, I've played Zero Dawn but didn't finish it. I think I got to the zone where you get the giant robots where climb up them to survey the local area (?). I'm looking forward to taking part in this new community!
Hello how are you doing today