14 year old son who has behaviour problems in school and at home.

I'm sorry you're going through this and that he has to live with this! That must just be increasingly hard on him.

It's actually a positive thing if he feels he can tell you absolutely anything and everything. In fact, there were years when my son was a teen and I was just his therapist, allowing him to have emotions, big or small, allowing him to complain, cry, etc. Sometimes you can just start collecting coats and shoes while they're in a mood and let them know you want to hear all about it on a walk. There's something completely cathartic about walking and working through problems.

But being autistic, we process out loud. So, until we're older and have a better more intensive command of conscious thought, we may be confused by too much happening in our heads all at once and the best thing for it is to talk it through out loud. Chances are we cannot hear what we're trying to think through until we say it out loud. 

Kids need to know they have someone safe to dump all their problems so they can feel less anxiety about the world. As my son got older, he'd start to notice being too grumpy and catch himself and begin to care about asking how I was. The important thing is that, I was always asking how I could help and available for him emotionally and mentally, so he could then be a little bit of a better human to others. Mind, 14-17 is hard. Just let them vent. Find clever therapy techniques & by the time he's a bit older you'll have some added bonus skills! :) 

I'm sorry you're going through this and that he has to live with this! That must just be increasingly hard on him.

It's actually a positive thing if he feels he can tell you absolutely anything and everything. In fact, there were years when my son was a teen and I was just his therapist, allowing him to have emotions, big or small, allowing him to complain, cry, etc. Sometimes you can just start collecting coats and shoes while they're in a mood and let them know you want to hear all about it on a walk. There's something completely cathartic about walking and working through problems.

But being autistic, we process out loud. So, until we're older and have a better more intensive command of conscious thought, we may be confused by too much happening in our heads all at once and the best thing for it is to talk it through out loud. Chances are we cannot hear what we're trying to think through until we say it out loud. 

Kids need to know they have someone safe to dump all their problems so they can feel less anxiety about the world. As my son got older, he'd start to notice being too grumpy and catch himself and begin to care about asking how I was. The important thing is that, I was always asking how I could help and available for him emotionally and mentally, so he could then be a little bit of a better human to others. Mind, 14-17 is hard. Just let them vent. Find clever therapy techniques & by the time he's a bit older you'll have some added bonus skills! :) 

Thank you so much, that's such a lovely way to look at it. I am glad that I'm his safe place amd I always reassure him I'm here to help him through it all. I think he feels like he doesn't fit in with the world and at his its hard to find age appropriate activities that he enjoys. Thank you again for your kind words this has really helped me putting things into perspective and looking at it from my sons point of view x