Published on 12, July, 2020
Thanks for allowing me to join NAS. I am not autistic, but my 61 year old partner is. All is fine as long as she knows exactly what is happening and things dont change.I try to make sure I dont say or do anything that might upset her but sometimes if she is in the wrong frame of mind, there is no way of avoiding it.
She is currently having problems with staying involved with her friends. She struggles with where she can go, how busy it will be, where she can sit and all the other things that are accosiated with Aurtism. Beacuase of this she is avoiding keeping in contsct with her friends because she justs ends up getting reakky upset and invaribly ends up crying. She feel that she is losing friends and has nothing to look forward to. This causes her to be angry with herself. I am unable to make comment or advise her because I am told that I dont understand. I think I have read enough to have a good idea of what she is feeling but there is no way that I can totally know as everyone is different.
When i first met her 10 years ago, she masked her autism and now that she has been diagnosed and been told that she should be herself our relationship has changed. I am ok with this as I love the person she is, but I sometimes strugglewith how to deal with situations. I have tried aggreeing with her all the time, Ive tried not saying anything and Ive tried discussing things as they come up. She very rarley lets me finish a sentance, so never really knows what Im trying to say.
Im sorry for unloading all this but I would love to know if there is somere I can go or someone I can speak to on learning what is the best thing for me to do ....................
A relationship therapist could help!
All humans have different personality traits, some might be in opposition like Extroverts and Introverts. Some might offend each other culturally. But what's better is to work on Principles and Values.
Allow the other person their experience and don't offer unsolicited advice.
Afford room for both parties to express and learn to negotiate with a little diplomacy
Continually seek to earn Trust, never expect it (this is often misunderstood, it is a daily ritual for successful relationships) and always afford Respect, never demand it.
Over time, in an ideal world, we should all grow into our selves and mature. As she learns more about how she can thrive and lets go of relationships that are more hurtful than helpful, and as you both learn how to invest into healthy relationships, things should ease up. A little wisdom can go a long way.