Hello

Hi, I can relate to a lot of what you are writing. Don't worry about moaning, moaning is good sometimes and life can be so hard and overwhelming. I am actually 25 and I was diagnosed this week.

I can relate to having anxiety and also the issues around food. I have had digestive issues my whole life but worse for the past 7 years and it can be so hard when you don't what you can eat and when everything seems to trigger digestive distress. It's an impossible dilemma, feeling tired and cold sucks but so does being sick :(. Have you managed to identify any trigger foods that make it worse? I found a few which trigger huge reactions but a lot of other foods also trigger digestive issues. Also I have found that portion size makes a huge change, as does stress/anxiety. Have you seen a doctor, just to rule out some causes of the digestive issues? Sadly in my experience doctors are not very helpful when it comes to IBS, food intolerance or autism related eating issues however, it might just be safe to rule out that there is no other issue causing your digestive problems. I am actually at the moment looking for more support regarding eating/food and I am looking for help that is more specific to autistic people- so far I haven't found anything yet but if I come accross any helpful support I will let you know- also if you manage to access some help for this I would be interested. I can actually recommend my dietitian too- She is the one that initially picked up on me being autistic and she has been a huge help for my mental health and issues around food- she has been a big help but I still struggle. If you want I can give you her details? The issue is that it is expensive, which is also a problem for me so I am looking for other sources of support. I can relate to doctors just just wanting to throw medication at you too- I have always refused the antidepressants though- I feel like many of my mental health issues have also been related to my environment and situations I found myself in (plus I just don't trust antidepressants- I know there is a lot of evidence that they can help some people but I just don't trust anything that acts in such an unspecific manner by altering neurotransmitter levels/signalling in the whole brain) 

What kind of exercise have you tried (apart from yoga)? I have always found exercise extremely helpful (but unfortunately have been injured for 3 years now and been unable to properly engage)- I used to love all outdoor activities and especially hiking. I also liked running, horse riding and cycling. Going out for a run was always so nice to clear my head. Or even just a walk while listening to an audiobook. I am currently looking for other ways to relax but with no real success. But maybe exercise isn't the one for you... In case you need some ideas I have tried: listening to audiobooks (which i like but only if I am moving/doing something else at same time), playing boardgames online (boardgame arena offers lots of free games), sudokos, playing chess online, folding origami etc. 

Regarding a job it's a fine balance. I am currently working full time and I just started a new job 3 weeks ago after having quite a hard time while working in Germany previously... I know that I do not do well having no 'useful' activity to do (eg. a beach holiday is something I would never go on) and if I am not occupied I just sink into lethargy and depression. But too much stress and too much work/ work for studies  is also bad... like right now and in the past I ended up utterly exhausted, overwhelmed and burnt out even when I liked the work. It's a fine balance. Could you try a job with flexible hours or a part time job? What kind of job are you looking for? Or it doesn't even have to be a job- maybe you could enroll on an online course or so just to give you an aim to work towards? It's also so important the environment is good at work but that's also hard to know in advance. I guess what helps me sometimes is to know that whatever I do/try it doesn't have to be permanent. I can try a job and if it isn't good I can find another one. It is not that easy I know, it takes inhuman effort and strength to change things etc but it is possible and I think it gets easier each time. It helps to remind yourself that no matter what you do you can change it and very few things are irreversible. sorry I feel like I am getting philosophical here... 

I have no idea if any of this is helpful- I hope I didn't ramble on too much or share too much of my personal experiences. I really hope you figure out what is right for you. It is hard and I also haven't figured it out yet. Best, 

Ann