Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm 18 years old and I had my diagnosis of ASD a few years ago. It seems as though ever since my diagnosis my family does not wish to acknowledge it. They openly admit I'm autistic but expect me to behave normally, and they say I can't use autism as an excuse, and say "you're not that autistic" whenever I try and explain that the reason why I do certain things is because of my autism. They treat every action I do as an attack on them when I just want to be comfortable at home. They have made it so that at home I cannot be myself and have to mask. It tires me and has made it so that I can't remember not being depressed. I can handle bullying by my peers and people generally not understanding it. But I can't stand when due to my masking people, family included, say that I don't "seem autistic". I just want my family to understand.
I'm sorry for the mess of a post. It is my first time ever using a forum as they've always been too scary.
I'm sorry your family is acting in this way. That is very hard.
I am lucky that my mum is very accepting of my diagnosis (probably as she is undiagnosed autistic too and for her all these autistic traits are extemely normal) but my dad is also not being very understanding- He previously said he thinks 'autism is an excuse' and that I am "ruining my life" by seeking a diagnosis and by more carefully dosing my social interactions. He recently also said that he doesn't really believe in the autism diagnosis as it is based on loose criteria and not measurable like someone that has cholera or another infectious disease... I reasoned with him that all medical diagnoses are based on criteria and cutoffs which have to be set somehow and by someone and there is always some room for interpretation (just more or less depending on condition- like when do you consider someone to have high blood pressure....?). I think his response is coming from a lack of understanding of autism. Do you think it is the same with your family? Regardless, the way they act is unfair and unkind. Have you tried to explain to them how you are feeling? Could you possibly move out? Constantly having to mask must be extremely exhausting.