Published on 12, July, 2020
I Have a 21 year old son who I am really concerned about. He is working on our farm at present and cannot communicate with other members of staff and comes across as completely rude!! He just mumbles most of his words when he does communicate and gets angry very quickly, especially if he is asked to do something that is not within his work remit. I have read through a lot of the autistic traits and he seems to have most of them! I am in a difficult situation that not only is he 21 and difficult to communicate with but I am divorced from his father and re-married. He lives with myself and my husband most of the time but I have no communication with his father, so no support to help him. He has started doing a couple of delivery rounds for us (we sell eggs) and if there is a change in the delivery round he can’t cope, he comes across and rude and not interested and when he is not working he just shuts himself in his room. What can I do?
He needs an Autistic Assessment to understand that society isn't intentionally cruel, just operating by a completely different perspective. He needs to learn about his weaknesses and strengths and he needs practical tools to cope with fluctuation. In order to allow one thing to be chaotic, something has to be grounded. If he's recognisably different than everyone, he may have internalised rejection, isolation and feeling misjudged and misunderstood for most of his life. These things can be traumatising. He may need time off to learn about himself as confidence and inner strength are built from a type of integration and understanding.
It may be worthwhile to hunt down his father. Much can be fixed when we recognised similar traits and realise we can grow them in to something good, being mindful of the possible pitfalls.
Make him volunteer at a local theatre, that's what helped me with pronunciation