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Hey!

NAS82147

Hoping I can get advise/support. 

I’m a single parent to my two kids. My son is almost 13 and my daughter has just turned 10. Their dad/my husband passed away nearly 5 years ago so it’s been tough. However over the last 3 years my daughter has become more difficult and it’s been mentioned to me that she could be showing autistic traits. Iv tried getting help from school which seems to hit a brick wall time after time and my gp said as she’s fine in school (she is academically, not always with her behaviour) that there’s nothing they can do. 

She is mostly fine around other people but when I’m around she’s different. There’s hitting, shouting, door slamming, refusal to listen, throwing things at me and her brother and refusing to go to bed. She also kicks off big time when something happens, for example she broke something last night and I wasn’t cross that she’d broke it, I was annoyed that it led to water being poured all across her carpet. That led to her not going to bed till nearly 11pm as she wouldn’t calm down and then this morning she refused to get out the car at school so I phoned school and they sent a teacher out. That’s not the first time that’s happened either. That then ended with me having a blazing migraine and having to call in sick with work.

Am I right to suspect it could be autism? Really hope someone can point me in the right direction for help 

Parents

  • Hi

    Girls with autism get overlooked so much! the example you have given, sounds a bit like 'the 4 o'clock explosion', give it a google and see if you agree, you obviously know your daughter better than anyone else.

    Arrange a meeting with your daughters teacher/SENCo, and go prepared with a list of everything she does that you think could be possible autism and tell them that you need their support in getting a diagnosis. they might have noticed other things or now suddenly be aware of it after you mention it to them. she needs to get some support to help her achieve the best grades possible, if i had had help sooner then i could have got so much better grades.

    Definitely could be autism, so worth a try

    Feel free to pop me a private message or post any other discussions, we are all here to help or just chat

    Alisha xx

  • in reply to piggy1401

    Thanks for your reply, yea it does seem a little like that. 

    Iv also read that some children keep everything bottled up and the explode around ‘a safe person’ which is normally a parent. 

    I don’t want to be that parent that just demands a label for my kid, but I genuinely feel like there is more to her behaviour than ‘oh it’s normal kid behaviour’. To begin with it was brushed off due to her dad passing away however she’s had help with that and we talk openly about him and do things as a family on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. 

    she was under the pfsa (parent family support advisor) team at school and they work along side senco but the senco team has just changed so may be worth trying to speak to them. Towards the end of summer term we were on the referral list for senco but was told there was a wait. As I said in my first message, academically she’s going fine. She’s the youngest in her class but hitting all the targets she needs to be hitting. However getting her to do homework is an issue and her new teacher has apparently been shouting in class and said anytime who doesn’t do homework will be staying in at lunchtimes. Defo feel I need to get a meeting with her

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  • in reply to piggy1401

    Thanks for your reply, yea it does seem a little like that. 

    Iv also read that some children keep everything bottled up and the explode around ‘a safe person’ which is normally a parent. 

    I don’t want to be that parent that just demands a label for my kid, but I genuinely feel like there is more to her behaviour than ‘oh it’s normal kid behaviour’. To begin with it was brushed off due to her dad passing away however she’s had help with that and we talk openly about him and do things as a family on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. 

    she was under the pfsa (parent family support advisor) team at school and they work along side senco but the senco team has just changed so may be worth trying to speak to them. Towards the end of summer term we were on the referral list for senco but was told there was a wait. As I said in my first message, academically she’s going fine. She’s the youngest in her class but hitting all the targets she needs to be hitting. However getting her to do homework is an issue and her new teacher has apparently been shouting in class and said anytime who doesn’t do homework will be staying in at lunchtimes. Defo feel I need to get a meeting with her

Children
  • in reply to NAS82147

    Yep, that's very true about the 'safe person', take it as a compliment although i know it must be difficult sometimes. 

    it doesn't sound like you are demanding a label, sounds like you just want the best for her, which is only natural. Her dad passing probably made it worse for her and highlighted some of the traits that had always been there but were more easily hidden. 

    Speaking to Senco is probably a good idea, just to see what they say. they will have done it many times before so can at least offer some advice. I'm glad she is doing well academically. Just mention to the teacher that she has suspected autism and hasn't quite worked out how to do homework without repeated instructions, but you are dealing with that and are going to speak to senco so you would appreciate it if she wasn't punished. making her teacher aware of the suspected autism is probably advisable anyway, just so the teacher understands her more

    Alisha xx