Undiagnosed, but I think I am on the spectrum

Hello,

I'm finding this hard to do, but thank you for being patient with me.  If you could reply, that would be great.  I am in my 49th year and female with no children.  I have been through numerous jobs and every time I struggle to be comfortable in them after a period of time.  I have worked for the NHS (in the background) for 5 years though I left about a year ago.  This is the longest I have been in a job and felt the most confident until it all seemed to go wrong (mental health and physical burnout).  I don't know if I made the wrong choice in leaving, but my self esteem and confidence is at an all time low especially at my current work.  I feel pretty much ignored at work, and although I like to knuckle down and get on with my work, I do like to have a feeling of congeniality surrounding me.

Of course I may well be overthinking things which is a common problem, but it compounds the social anxiety to the point where I am struggling to cope with just getting to work now.  I am ok at talking with people, but I tend to let them start conversations unless I ask a question to someone.  Am I being rude? I'm unsure.  I feel ridiculously sensitive to how other people react to me, and I don't know if this feeling supports or contradicts the possibility of Autism.  For several years I have felt this way and I have looked into Autism and tried to understand it.  If I am confused by it, does this mean I don't have it? I'm sorry for appearing a bit dense.