Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, i ( 47f) and am waiting on an assessment for Autism and adhd, i was diagnosed as dyslexic when i was 24 but have only in the past year suspected anything more. i am having terrible problems at work, i have rsd ( rejection sensitive dysphoria) and can’t take any criticism, i have a new manager who i just don’t get on with and have had several confrontations with, she doesn’t know the job yet and doesn’t wont my input. So im left feeling worthless. The other day i was informed that the new manager has put in a formal complaint against me, over one of these confrontations. I was subjected to a two hour interview, on my birthday, where i was questioned over the details, ( which I really can’t remember)
i have been told to walk away from a situation, so i can carme and think, but my new manager won’t let me, saying im being rude, yet she walks away from me. I just felt trapped and was trying to defend myself.
i was so upset, i self harmed and have been signed off due to work placed stress and anxiety , so the decision has now been delayed.
I can’t stop crying, this is the ultimate telling off!
i have tried everything i can to help my managers to understand me. I have got funding for training, coaching and i have written down all the things that triggered my rsd. I have accommodations in place but they don’t follow them. im sorry if you’ve just sat a read this, but it did feel good getting it off my chest
Omg, I can so relate I've lost jobs because of similar situations, walked away from jobs when Been in situations like this and forever blamed myself over this exact situation. Anyway my only advise is this your diagnosis in waiting which is likely asd makes you hyper sensitive and react in a way of which you cannot control. Tell your company of your recent health assessments and that you're awaiting full diagnosis your new boss is a trigger for your illness, you require reasonable adjustments at work. That you have been made to feel incompetent and unworthy by your boss that your current diagnosis also has been triggered by your boss and you don't feel she has been mindful of your health in the work place. In the meantime if u need a friend I'm here x
Sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. I don't have any great advice to offer, but if it helps you feel less alone, the most recent Aucademy video on YouTube is on the subject of RSD.
That birthday synchronicity struck a chord. The one poor appraisal I've ever had (at the end of a year when I was privately going though a nightmare throughout, imapcting majorly on my concentration) happened on my 39th birthday, not that the appraiser knew it was (I don't like being the focus of attention, so birthdays are quiet moments of reflection for me instead), nor should the coincidence have made any difference. But it disd somehow concentrate the feeling of uselessness. 'I'm in my 40th year, and I'm rubbish at everything...' etc. Very hard to get to a more objective and positive place from there, so I can sympathise. I'm 44 now, and subsequent reviews have been more positive, and my diagnosis this year has given me better perspective. Life has found other ways to be painful since then, so I suppose suffering will always be a feature - but taking one day at a time is all we can do. Hope things get better for you soon.