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Introducting myself in a complex way

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So yeah, I'm 22 years old, I work full time in Administration Assistant, and the reason I'm posting this is mainly because I'm bored and I just need to type out as much detail as I can because I have just recently done that a few minutes ago when I was talking to my friend with aspergers as well and I didn't want to go on more because I wrote about 5 paragraphs in about 8 minutes.

The only thing is, I only have a few close friends but I only see them once a week, I really do want to meet new people and make new friends along the way, but then again, there are a lot of different barriers that I am facing to prevent me from being able to achieve this, such as now, I never used to type formally or was able to think of these types of good words until I found out I had aspergers a few months ago and then the common traits start developing further.

So yeah, I want to talk to people online but the only problem is unlike the "normal" people, I just find it extremely difficult to talk to people I don't know that well, like everytime on Facebook, I want to ask someone how they're getting on in life as I haven't seen them for a long period of time, but I can't, I always get anxious about if I say this, it'll be bad, they probably would want to get rid of me because they find me annoying and so on. And also they won't be able to keep up with me if they ask me a question, I would try to answer the question as the best I can and I find it really difficult to reply and describe what I wanted to say without going into a lot of detail about it.

If only I could make friends with people like the girl at my workplace which is only a few months older than me, I want to make friends with her and talk to her so we could just be friends, I never had a friend that's a really close friend who is a girl before! Butb the only problem is, I'm too shy to speak to her about anything and I feel too anxious to do so, so I end up not bothering, plus, she's works in a diffrent department and area than me anyway. I do get on well with people in the Ofice where I work with though although they are about more than 10 years older than me.

And this is the problem, I realised it's better for me to have routine, making sure evrything is organised, it made things less confusing for me be doing this! I started to apply these symptoms ever since I realised I had aspergers, some symptoms I really like and some i don't, the symptoms that I have developed is collecting Blu Rays. Collecting receipts - I realise that this is very useful because sometimes when I look and use a certain thing I bought, I did always wonder what the exact time and date and where I bought it was, I keep thinking it would of been better if I known then I can say to myself in the future all them years I had the particular item, Same applies to watching Blu Rays, I would write as much information out as I can to make sure I know what went on like the exact date and time I started to watch it and when I finished watching it so the next time I get the Blu Ray out to watch it again, I know how many times I have watched the movie in total, and also, the type of headset I used to watch it with and sometimes I even include the times I paused the movie just in caseI get interupted so when I do refer to that sheet of paper sometime in the future, I now why the time I finished the movie was way longer than the actual movie time itself.

And yeah, I don't think many people would bother to read through all of this but I just felt like it's one of them days where I could be bothered and I'm in the mood to type again and that I feel comfortable hear because of the Autism forums and I just needed a reason for all this typing because I really do enjoy it so much!

But as you can see, this is why I find it really difficult to make new friends and why I feel lonely all the time but it doesn't matter because I have all the items I like with me to make me feel less lonely.

Edit: I am also so glad that this website allows the edit option to be available because I get a bit annoyed if there are things I can't change once I posted because I think to myself that It would of been better if I added thus and that etc.

And yeah, that is me introduced out of boredom andwhile waiting for my friend to reply.

  • autismtwo said:

    you should change your profile name to monologue Laughing 

    This was uncalled-for. Please do not mock other users' posting styles.

    Thanks,

    Alex R - mod

  • It probably is a good idea to write things down like this, as it helps sort out ideas. The difficulty is that it may not mean much to other people reading it.

    Perhaps a better way is to write things down over a period, see if you can consolidate what you've collated into some key points, and then put these shortened, clearer versions on-line to get other people's opinions or advice.

    Thinking onto paper as things stand may not mean much to others who then find it hard to be helpful.

    In conversation neurotypicals (or in this context people not on the spectrum) use conversation to garner knowledge about others, and to express themselves. They do this usually with short bites of dialogue, changing the subject a lot, and playing off what each other person says. They are looking less at the factual content of these exchanges and more at trying to work out "where other people are coming from" the unspoken information about sincerity, loyalty, friendship etc they seek.

    Neurotypicals therefore don't converse with the intention of getting detailed biographies or factual information about science, arts or culture. There is a requirement to be knowledgeable about football, latest pop releases, latest films or video games, but the information sought is less detailed - its again about getting unspoken information.

    That makes things really hard if you are on the autistic spectrum, because you wont have a facility or a reason for finding out these hidden messages. You are more likely to be seeking knowledge or wanting to share knowledge, and that may not be what others want to do.

    Also if you never get to converse successfully, how do you learn to adapt or improve? Some of what you mention sounds more like shyness or lack of self-confidence, which may be on top of your autistic spectrum diagnosis. But its never going to be easy on your own. You need someone prepared to spend some time being helpful.

    You say you get on alright at work, though your work colleagues are older. That's at least a good thing because for many people on the spectrum work-place socialising is hard.

    Hopefully some other people will add to this, so you do get some helpful feedback, and encouragement to explore your difficulties and think them through.

    Good luck

  • you should change your profile name to monologue Laughing