Any children of autistic parents here?

Hi, 

My mother has autism, and I need some advice on how to support her, but also maintain a relationship.  She gets really mean when she is stressed (routine is disrupted, expectations are not met, she doesn't understand something etc.) While this was devastating as a child, I'm 40 now and have a supportive partner for the first time and I'm in therapy dealing with the childhood stuff, but I still can't figure out how to manage my relationship.

She doesn't like my clothes, hair, weight, and that I don't have kids. So I love thousands of km away and just deal with it in shorts bursts. My mental health suffers whenever I spend time with her, but maybe I'm just doing something wrong. How do other people handle their autistic parents? 

Thanks