Maybe Aspergers

Can you go to the GP with her? She may not see some traits in herself and it's always useful to have another perspective to back up her experiences.

Be aware that there is some overlap between the social issues and solitary life in gifted children and very high functioning "Aspies" so don't be surprised or disappointed if it turns out she isn't autistic but "merely" gifted.

Both. Thats really helped.

Thanks

I'm glad I helped :)

It's a long story of how I came diagnosed but my situation might be a bit different. I had never knew I had aspergers but it was something else what made me realise that I needed to go to the GP for help. It was my continuous rituals which I found really annoying and it was effecting my life and it still is! I found out that It was OCD as well as aspergers so I have 2 disabilities instead of just aspergers. But the doctor said that OCD does link with aspergers and they are quite common.

My mum kept telling me to go to the doctors if I think there's something wrong and bothering me. That's how I went myself. So I guess I didn't mind because my mum didn't say the subject to me, she said it in a different way. Maybe you could try that with your daughter, just say to her to remember to go to the doctors if there is something that's bothering you, that the doctors always there to help and support you and that you would always love her no matter what happens. From my experience because I am a aspie, I just really need someone to show me that they care for me and not keeping moaning and keep saying the same repetitive thing to me again and again because I deal with enough repetitive rituals in my life already.

Good luck and I hope this helps!

This is difficult. 

I had considerable problems with my parents, so I'm probably not coming from a very helpful angle with this. 

From my own experience I know I exhibited certain symptoms as a child which would hopefully be picked up these days. For example - not being able to tolerate the crowded and noisy environment of school, and as a result throwing up and having screaming tantrums when we got anywhere near the school gates.
Not being able to tolerate a change of routine, for example, sudden appointments or holidays.
Not mixing with other children and being unable to join in with them in games and play. 
Chattering non-stop about my favourite subjects or opinions for a long time, until someone had to tell me to stop. 

The early indicators are important in diagnosis. In my case the indicators were there from very early on. Thinking about whether there were any in your daughter at a young age may be a starting point for yourself.   

I guess when there are a lot of other problems and conflicts that cause distress in someone's life, the AS, if that is indeed what is present, has to be teased out from all of that. 

Thanks.  The issue I have is that I think she may have Aspergers, but have only thought this over the last 18 months and am not sure how to talk to her about it without her being offended or thinking I have a problem with her.

She's been through some very heavy problems, which on reflection, I believe are her having Aspergers but again these are just my thoughts and I don't want her start on a path she doesn't need to, as she's been through enough. 

Looking as the symptoms of Aspergers, she is classic high achieving (did very well at school, has been through uni) but has issues with obsessions, massively into a particular subject (maths and harry potter, dr who, forensics to name a few), gender identity (which I've heard is a very common side-affect of the feeling of "not fitting in"), emphathy, communication.  I thought a lot of it was teenage stuff for a while, family breakdown, etc but looking back it's much more than that.

I want to support her but she doesn't always make it easy and I'm not sure how to approach the subject, without making things harder for us both.

Hi janeytiff - I have recently been diagnosed as having Asperger and I am in my 50's.

My personal view is that I would have preferred to have been diagnosed when much younger. Mainly because I had so many problems as a child, then fitting in at work,  not knowing how to negotiate the NT world and use the qualifications I had gained. It is not just having the difference of Asperger, but the effects of that in trying to live a life 'like everyone else'. 

Getting through life with undiagnosed Aspergers created a lot of anxiety with me - and various trips to the Doctor only resulted in various 'mental health difficulties' being suggested as the problem. None of those were correct - and I knew it was something else.

A couple of years ago I read a newspaper article about AS and saw myself in the person described. I did the online test - AQ - not a diagnosis but a possible indicator. I scored high, so read as much as I could about the condition, then eventually went for an assessment and diagnosis. 

I feel I would have been able to do so much more if it had been discovered I had AS, when I was in my twenties  - but the option wasn't available then. As it is, I am very pleased to have found out now and feel very positive about being diagnosed, even in my 50's.

As Hawk256 says, Aspies are complex people. We have difficulty in communicating at the best of times, and what's inside is often very different to what we are seeming to communicate. 

The main point in all of this is that I wanted to find out why I was different and why I was having difficulties. You do not say what your daughter wants or feels about this.
You could advise her to see her GP if she is worried. 

Thanks.  That's really helpful. 

I know that my daughter feels different to others and, although really intelligent, has trouble communicating her emotions, especially with her family.

Can I ask, how you came to be diagnosed?  Did you realise yourself or did others approach you? I suppose I'm asking if you would have minded if someone had said something to you, to give me some idea of how to approach the subject with my daughter. 

Hi janeytiff

I am 22 years old as well and I would reccomend getting it diagnosed as soon as possible! I have had a simular situation myself because I only found out I had aspergers a few months ago when I was 21.

Being diagnosed now is better than later in life because this has helped me quite a bit as well such as getting to know myself better, being able to find support such as emplyment services which I have done and they support people up to 25 years old. This has enabled me to successfully get a full time apprenticeship and get to know myself better!

Even though I'll feel down from time to time, I would advise you to tell her to go to the GP because the process is very long to get the right type of support. This is what I have experienced because I am still currently on the waiting list for support for aspergers and it's been a year. And you are right about the diagnosis later in life. Once you advise her to go to the GP, you never know, it may not be aspergers but I also find it difficult to speak to my parents and people I don't know very well. Also probably what's difficult for her communication is some misunderstanding between you and her. That's also why I can't talk to my parents and don't get on with them that well, It ties in with anxiety as well as depression so it can lead on to many different things.

Aspies are quite complex people to be able to understand and most of the time they find it really difficult to express their emotions and tell you what they are feeling / or to get the words out to say what they really want to say. Like as I'm typing this at the moment, I find it really difficult to tell you what I mean to describe! The words come out differently to what I'm thinking.

I hope I have helped.