Making friendships

Hi, I had no friends at school but this changed when I went to university. I met all of my friends through shared interests eg. through my course at university, going to scientific talks, always being late for lectures like my friend... While hiking I also always found it easy to get to know people. I realised that with the 'right people', I connected quite easily, which was a revelation as at school I just didn't connect to anyone. I think the best chance of meeting people that they might connect with is through a shared interest. Group settings can be overwhelming (at least for me) so this is a consideration and you will have to see if they would feel comfortable joining a society or club which involved groups- does this person have any activities they particularly enjoy? It can be easier to start with activities where you don't necessarily have to interact with people to make it less stressful (for me this would have been something like go for a scientific talk where I could talk to people afterwards if I wanted to but didn't have to). Also I find it easier when you do something together, like walking. If one to one contacts feel easier, it might be an idea to try and arrange that- Since I love hiking I actually have put out posts on my university hiking facebook page asking if anyone would be interested to go with me- I found hiking partners like this- I would start of by going with them for a coffee and then take it from there. This felt more comfortable for me than going out with a larger group where I would have to navigate group dynamics and worry about being excluded. (though I have also joined group walks and enjoyed them). Such one to one meetings could also be set up for other activities (eg. boardgames, or arts or other sports etc. whatever the person enjoys). 

It can be so difficult to find friends and I was for sure very lucky that it was easier for me to find people I connected to at university. I would see what activities they enjoy and what they feel comfortable with and take it from there. In my experience making friends with the 'right people' feels easy/almost effortless- if it takes a lot of masking/ effort in my opinion it's just not meant to be. The hard thing is though to put yourself in situations where you might actually meet people that you can be friends with- it takes a lot of energy and it can be easy to be disheartened. But I am sure that there are people out there that are a good fit to be this person's friends! 

Also it might indeed be easier for them to connect to other autistic people- I actually realised recently that almost all my friends are also neuro-divergent, though I had no idea this was the case when I met them and made friends with them. 

There are often local support groups for those on the spectrum that could be a good option is they are looking for other autistic young adults. But if not there’s no reason they couldn’t form friendships in the same settings as anyone else, if they are comfortable there. Use any special interests as a guide, can they join a club around it, or something like that?