Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I got diagnosed 7months ago, just before my 28th birthday. Ever since people have been telling me that all my social issues will be solved by going on forums and finding people who share my interests, but the problem is I don't really have any. I like things but not so intently that a person's negative opinion about them wouldn't make me consider dropping that interest. And I don't know lots about stuff I like. I like movies but like I've never seen most of the big ones people seem to always want to talk about. I remember when I heard my friends watched Community I was like "Oooh I've seen that!!" And then they made all these references I didn't get and I started to wonder if I'd missed half the show.
So yeah, here's me trying to join a community forum when I don't even know what I want to talk about with you
Did the person who said this to you mean special interests or just interests in general? Do you have any hobbies that could be common ground to speak about with someone? I mean I do have a special interests, but I have other interests too which are more hobbies rather than intense preoccupations.
Hi Kitsune,
I guess I mean interests in general. I find that with any hobbies I have, if something stops me from doing it (I hurt my wrist so I can't play video games anymore) or if someone tells me they think 'its stupid, I really quickly abandon my hobbies like they mean nothing to me. And if someone was to say try and have a conversation with me about video games, I don't really have much to say about them or not enough that it would make a interesting enough conversation. I guess I just don't have confidence in my interests and I think I mask them a bit but to the point where I can't even remember if I like them
It’s ok not to have strong interests or hobbies, and autism is a spectrum condition. There’s no rule to dictate that every autistic person must have large amounts of every autistic trait. Do you want to have hobbies and interests, or are you happy not having them?
To be honest from what you’re saying, it seems like people telling you to spend more time on your hobbie/interests or talk to people about your hobbies/interests, is just a ‘stock’ phrase that people are telling you, because they can’t think of anything else to say. It’s not a key piece of being human. There are many things that you could talk about, such as what you have done that day etc. Its quite easy to Google topics of conversation, I do it sometimes if I know I will be in a social situation with new people.
I do want to have hobbies and interests. I suffer from depression and people always say "spend more time on your hobbies/interests" and with socialising it's the same thing "talk to people about your hobbies and interests" so it feels like I'm missing a key piece of being human and it feels like that's the reason I'm depressed and the only way I can fix things. I hope that's that isn't true but that's always what people suggest and they don't give many alternatives.