Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I’m Star (not my real name, don’t feel comfortable sharing and want to stay safe). I hope you are all doing ok. I am new to this forum, so I am not really sure what I’m doing or what to say, but I hope this is ok.
I am a female and was diagnosed with Autism (Aspergers Syndrome) just prior to my 15th Birthday. I have found this very hard to deal with and use very negative coping strategies becuase I have struggled with my mental health for about 4 years now. I experience severe, uncontrolled anxiety, difficulties with mood, emotional regulation, OCD traits, eating / disordered eating , motivation, speech (Selective / anxiety induced mutism) etc. Some of the things I struggle with due to Autism are processing, sensory, mental health, Interoception, eating, obsessions, identity, understanding, social, relating to others, behaviour, regulating and understanding emotion, burnout, coping with education, masking, coping with being alive etc.
Throughout my life I have had many special interests, which can come and go or be maintained for a long time and then shift. However my mood changes them, can sometimes make me lose interest and motivation to engage in them. Some of my current / most recent special interests have been Squishmallows, soft toys, crochet, reading, giraffes, red, rose gold, pastel colours, jigsaw puzzles, cacti & succulents, Yankee candles, Biology etc. I also have many potential hobbies, but I don’t tend to engage in them much due to poor mental health, Burnout etc. I enjoy watching tv sometimes, although it can sometimes be stressful. I like light hearted programmes and films. My current favourites are probably Emmerdale, Coronation Street, Doctors, Holby City, Your Garden Made Perfect, Dragons Den, The Apprentice, and some films and Netflix series. I absolutely love helping others too.
In addition, i am interested in learning French, makaton / sign language, pottery painting, arts and crafts, listening to music etc. amongst other things. I have always wanted to go into a medical career or something in the medical profession.
I struggle to get in all I want to say and I never feel like I have said enough and it makes me uneasy and anxious and an uncomfortable feeling inside but I am just trying to tell myself that it’s ok and I can’t possibly say everything all at once and it doesn’t matter.
I joined this forum to offer advice and because I have received my late autism diagnosis and don’t really know what to do with it. I want to learn more about myself and Autism and how I can understand what I’m experiencing and cope with life better and learn strategies. I feel quite alone and I’m struggling and can’t cope with being alive, but I hope to find some people that understand.
Best Wishes, Star x
Hi Star, I love youre wide range of interests and hobbies - you sound like a really interesting person. Yo7 don’t need to worry about saying ‘too much’ - what you’ve written is really interesting and not too much at all. I really like reading, and succulents and alpine plants, and I really love rose gold too (especially Victorian rose gold which is often even deeper in its rosiness than modern rose gold). I haven’t tried crochet but I do a lot of sewing at the moment - I like altering and embellishing clothes. I’ve always done a lot of drawing and painting but for the last few months I’ve had really bad anxiety and panic attacks so I’ve not been painting. I hope to get back to it though at some point. My son has selective mutism and ocd so I understand how difficult that is.
Hi Jim,
Thank you for your reply, it made me feel really happy and less alone! I will have a look out for that YouTube channel. I like watching YouTube and am very keen to learn more about Autism and find positive, helpful autism YouTubers.
How are you? I hope you are doing ok, take care Star ️
Hi Desmond79,
Thank you for replying. How are you? I hope you’re doing ok, take care.
Hi Jess,
I like pop music and listening to the radio. I like so many different artists, such as Charlie Puth, Ea Kaya, Kylie Minogue, Sigala, Mimi Webb, Mabel etc. i have rotated round so many over the years. What about you? Are you doing ok? Thank you for your reply. Take Care
I'm exhausted. I've gotta go now. Take care everybody. Jim
I hope you had a good day!
Jim
Welcome Star.
Join the Superfriends.
Bravo bravissimo!
It's totally gamified, I actually enjoy it - no more regurgitating tedious conjugations and declensions!
Oh cool that sounds exciting! :) I would love to learn Italian it sounds so beautiful!
I'm doing Spanish and Hindi in Duolingo at the moment
Hi Star welcome to the community!
What music do you like to listen to?
It's cool you want to learn a new language. I think you can get apps for that, if you have a phone and can access the playstore. Might be worth checking it out at some point :)
Lovely to meet you.
Hi Star,
You are far from alone and from reading your post I can see we have very much in common especially with regards to communication and speech.
I have asked Autistamatic (Youtuber) to cover some of my issues (which you seem to share) with regards to speech on his video 'The Verbal Spectrum'. Should I receive a response I shall do my best to let you know!
I am versed in makaton (it's not that hard to learn if you understand how the hand positions relate to how letters actually appear on a page) and wish to learn sign language. I currently sing quoting popular songs so as to communicate and avoid speech.
I particularly like that you like music, arts and crafts!
Best wishes to you also Star,
I hope you feel less alone and more understood soon,
Hello Star - welcome! Well I don't think what you're experiencing is all that unusual - I had a late diagnosis too and things did start to get better, it's so good to be in a place where you can talk about stuff and pick other people's brains for coping strategies. Nice to meet you!