Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, my son is 25 and lives at home with us (mum & dad) our daughter moved in with her partner a few months ago. he runs his very small business from here, I support him in that and I'm finding it all a bit surreal at the moment. He is happy, but frustrated at a lack of sales for the things he produces. He spends a lot of time reading about algorithms but will miss orders and (it seems purposely) misses very important emails/meetings because he's been to busy. it can take weeks to settle a new project or job into his head and I cant rush him or do it myself. I get all of that, that is part of who he is that's fine. what upsets me is he is so frustrated that things aren't moving forward with his business, I try to tactfully explain things that we could do to help but get told that's not it. I have to constantly push to get things done.
I'm worried that his current enthusiasm which is inspiring is going to fall away and depression will set in. his business is very niche and only caters to a small audience, I put as many lists and daily tasks etc in order that must be done and check every day but if I have a day off, he wont do them. If I wasn't here it wouldn't run. I have M.S and am currently having a big relapse and struggling to support him.
Id really like to chat to other parents that are in similar situations.
Should we keep encouraging him in his business which he loves and which we are very proud of him for and not worry about the future just live for now.
Or should we all be being a bit more realistic and be completely honest with him when he gets one sale a week and we all congratulate him and he tells us it wont be long til he can move into his own house.
It almost feels deceitful, do you know what I mean, sorry if I'm not explaining myself very well. im just mentally exhausted with it all at the moment
thanks for reading
B.
That’s a really difficult situation - I’m sorry you are struggling with so many challenges. I do think you need to be completely honest with your son. Generally autistic people appreciate honesty. If your son is quite intelligent he is probably already very aware of the issues you mention here. I think you should sit down with your son and have an honest and very respectful conversation about where he wants his business to go, and how he is going to achieve that. You can have that conversation in a kind and respectful way and as long as he know you’re 100% supportive of him as a person then hopefully it will be ok.