Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi All
We are in the middle of the diagnoses for autism for my 14 year old daughter.
i am struggling with her at the minute - it feels like it flares up every few months, then it settles for a bit then we are back there.
Most of the issues are social - for example todays drama is she wrote something nasty about a swim mate and then someone she thought was a friend told the swim mate. But her humour and moods are half the issue - she said she wanted to drown the swim mate. She didn’t mean and she doesn’t know why she said it other then the swim mate got on her nerves. She’s always either completely high and happy or completely low and depressed. That’s the same with the things she says and does - this team mate annoyed her so she’s at the extreme end of not liking her. It’s really hard to get her to empathise that she would be upset if it was the other way round.
I try talking to her but it’s in one ear out the other - I feel. Then if I try to put a punishment in place nothing works as she doesn’t care about anything enough - will hand over phone, iPad, drawing stuff. Didn’t care I haven’t let her go swimming.
I’m downstairs upset and she’s fine upstairs.
Tired of the constant battle to get her to understand.
This could have been written by me 4 years ago. My daughter is now 17 and slowly beginning to mature and our relationship is so much better. I have learnt not to tackle anything in the heat of the moment and then talk to her when she is calm. Hang on in there as it can get easier.
Thank you for this. This morning she’s got up and acted like nothing has happened and said I will apologise to the swim girl but I didn’t mean what I said, I just said it.
So we have had a conversation about why the other girl may feel upset but I feel she nods in the right places rather then actually taking in what I am saying.