Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
Although I’ve been fairly aware of probably being in the ASD world for about 20 years, it’s only this last 3 months that I’ve been off work with anxiety and depression that I’ve really discussed it. I’m 40, managed to build what I can now see have been a terrifyingly tiring web of coping strategies to get me from A-B each day. At Christmas they fell apart a fair bit, and now here I am.
I didn’t know self-diagnosis was a thing, and got to speak to a private counsellor the other week and a central mental health team today. I “passed” the AQ10 screen and am now being referred for a diagnosis. I know that is a while away on the NHS, but it feels like a start to understanding me and finally finding my tribe!
Thing is - other than this I have no idea where to start. I desperately want to get back to my job, but can’t string 2 good days together at the min. Looking forward to exploring in here to see what I can find.
Welcome. I'm so glad the professionals are taking you seriously. Meanwhile your self-identification is more than good enough to start coming to terms with it yourself and find new ways forward.
What you are describing as your experience in the here and now sounds a lot like 'burn out' - we cope until we can't and then burn out trying - possible also combined with depression. You need some time. Try to you tube of the many autistic bloggers out there talking about that. You might be able to relate.
Good news is, whilst there is no magic wand for 'burn out', you will recover if you take it easy and demand much less of your self a while.