Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I'm on the spectrum and like to think myself a nice person and very creative in lots of different ways. Looking to get some friends and be myself here as I'm constantly masking around family and its railing me. Finding some coping tips for anxiety and suicidal thoughts would me good as well but one thing at a time.
For now. Hello
I think about all the ways I can die daily. LOL I don't consider these suicide, just being OVERLY cautious! Reminding myself I'm human - fallible but resilient. When I was young (no diagnostic) I was a bit clumsy, told I had terrible timing, occasionally felt foggy-headed & felt a bit ghostly. I slowly became more in tune to myself and found I could stay focused and think straight much better without family around rather than being lost in the moment and constantly interrupted. Though I never really had this problem with my own son, but I made different conscious decisions than my parents.
Creative is good! Stealing a great deal of time for the self to grow creative disciplines can be a struggle, but incredibly worth it. x
I think it's good to think about these things, not regarding killing yourself but being cautious and prepared for things if you can be. Unfortunately I obsess over death have done since my dad passed away. I don't want to die really but at times life is hard and I find myself feeling suicidal and not wanting to go on, usually results in a call with Samaritans or 111. I find family crippling me a lot and causing me a lot of problems, there's a lot of pressure with and around them and I'm constantly masking and trying to be "normal". I really wish I could be on my own but coping is so hard. The most I do at the moment is go for little walks on my own and volunteer.
You sound too me like you are a very good parent. Don't think I'd be such a great mum somehow which is sad as I'd love to be a parent.
I agree with you it can be a struggle and overwhelming but worth it. I love to be creative it inspires me and makes me happy.