Hi new here... just saw my son bullied

Kat,

This is horrible for you - until recently I thought my son's poor social skills would mean he did not get affected by nasty comments even though it affected me. I'm not sure about this any more.

Before you abandon mainstream school perhaps you could visit the local secondary.  It depends on your son's needs but for my own son the local secondary school has been excellent. He had extra familiarisation days to smooth the transition from primary to secondary, and when he needed a bolt hole to avoid obnoxious children in the playground this was arranged. I met with teachers at primary school to make sure the proper paperwork was in place when he went to secondary, so they were fully aware of the situation, and then also met with the SEN at the secondary school before he started.

I would seriously recommend you invetigate special schools now before he gets to secondary age. You need a statement of special needs. In my experience mainstream can work at primary level if managed well but secondary is a whole new ball game ans I would not send m child to a mainstream one if you paid me - the misery it caused was dreadful and we will suffer for years to come from the fallout of that.  This is partly down to late diagnosis - very long story....but settledmin special school now thank goodness.

Bullying is an act carried out by cowards. It makes my blood boil to hear stories like yours.  I hope your son is ok now. 

Hi Kat,

sorry I haven't responded sooner been unable to get online for a while.

this is very heartbreaking, I hope the drawing worked for you and your son it's really helped my daughter, I also got a big box for her to decorate and it's a worries box the will draw and put them in the box this helps alleviate some anxieties she may have.

I am aware that what started as a tiny problem in the morning will be huge by the time she returns home from school and that's when meltdown occurs due to feeling safe and secure with her parents, so this is where the drawing really seemed to help as it has taught my daughter how she could respond or react better in situations that she don't like and that's without us parents giving her the answer, which I am certain all parents want to do is protect their children and fix the problem for them.

children will be more real in front of those they feel safe around, and my daughter is usually exhausted after school due to wearing a big smiley mask, this is why it's a battle getting the teachers to listen as they believe she is fine yet I know she is crumbling inside.

stay strong and work together :-)

hi,

I so so feel for you, it is my biggest fear - my child being bullied. I live in the middle of nowhere and there is only one school he can go to, so if things got really bad, I dont know what I would do.

HI

my son is great

My son also went to a special needs nursery the problem is he doesnt have extreme behaviour so he didnt really fit in there... it is like he is stuck somewhere in the middle trhats the problem with Autism the spectrum is so vast... his main problem is understanding social aspects... Im going to look into SEN schools anyway because thinking of him being bullied or isolated is heart breaking

Calamity 29 the drawing is a good idea my son loves that also, Im going to give that a try because when I asked him what happens at school he couldnt really explain.

Im going to talk to his teachers on monday, it was at afterschool club so I want to know what other contact the other child has with my son... Thank you for your response also I feel a bit better

Your bulllying experience sounds awful and so tactical... thats the problem at 8 you actually are very aware of what you are doing.

I was bullied at school also and it greatly effected my self esteem and even as an adult you hear the odd snide commment.

But witnessing the cruelness of that child toward my own just tore me up I was so angry that tears came to my eyes... so im disapointed that Ididnt handle it better I told the supervisor who spoke to him but its not enough for me

Thank you for your response Azalea

Hi Kat,

i have had a similar situation as your sons with my 7year old daughter, she has constantly been called names for a while now, I worked with my daughter through drawing as she loves anything to do with art and when she describes the picture I listened for any feeling words, the picture represents the child and the feelings are their own ones.

I feel sad for your son children can be so cruel and do not seem to know the damage they can cause to another child's confidence self esteem, the teacher need to be made aware of this by you and always trust your gut instincts, I hope this matter gets resolved.

Kat2013 said:

Hi Im Kat

Feeling frustrated and upset I have no one in my friendship circle who understands

I have a son of 8 who has Autism... he attends a mainstream school and wanted to join the after school club I went to sign him up and while we were there I heard a boy in his year say to a goup of boys...

"yuk look its him, what is he doing here who said he could come that dumb boy"

his friends told him to be queit coz his mum was there and that he shouldnt say it in front of me...

So now I feel crushed, angry and torn because I dont know what happensd when I'm not around

and my son doesnt really understand when people are mean to him he wouldnt even realise unless it was physical

 I'm contemplating putting him in a special school I just dont want him picked on... any thoughts or comments welcome

hi there me and my husband have just found out that our little boy has autism and he can be a handfull at times we are not putting him into mainstream nursery as we know he wont cope