Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there,
I don’t know if this is the right place or anything.
I got a son who is nearly 4 and me and mum always knew he was different to other children so we been doing assessments and today was told our boy is estimated to be 2 years behind.
he doesn’t talk, struggles in big crowds, doesn’t like people in he’s space. We are currently potty training him which surprisingly is going really well.
I have no involvement with any other children that are on the spectrum so I haven’t a clue. I don’t want to sound selfish or being a *** but I’m struggling to deal with it.
my son is the apple of my eye he comes everywhere with me when I’m not at work, waits for me to put him to bed. He is my best friend. Today after the assessment I broke down I’ve always sort of brushed it under the carpet but hearing it from a “professional” really hit home.
is there certain things I can do to help him along we are already doing flash cards and they are working. It’s the violent out bursts and screeching when I say no to something that really gets to me. I’ve had a Google “what help can I get with an autistic child” and all that comes up is about benefits which isn’t the sort of help I need. I’m after mainly advice about things I can do to help calm and soothe my son.
enough rambling
John.
You sound like an amazing dad and that you're doing a great job. I think it's perfectly normal to feel emotional after your child's diagnosis, I know I certainly was.
For my daughter, clear and consistent boundaries work for her as she always knows what to expect and what is expected of her and this helps to reduce the meltdowns at home. When we're out its much harder and it just becomes a case of trying to foresee what could be a trigger and avoid/minimise it if possible. Lots of routine and fore warnings also help her. She has a weighted blanket which I recommend highly. Social stories are also good. My daughter is very hyper sensitive so has meltdowns frequently because she just gets so overwhelmed. It's hard work, I can't deny that. But my daughter is exceptional and also my best friend.
I also knew nothing about autism when she was diagnosed but I tried to learn as much as possible by reading books, doing courses and I ended up working with asd children. So maybe some books for parents could help?
Was it through camhs he was diagnosed? If so they should provide you with some information on where to get support?
He hasn’t been diagnosed yet we are going through all the assessments and procedures now. He is currently under iscan they are the ones doing the assessments.
health visitor, nursery teachers, physicians have all said he is on the spectrum so he got referred.