Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I've posted a few times and joined a few discussions, whilst exploring the possibility that I'm ASD. If I was comfortable with 'just' self-identifying, I would. But I'm pursuing a diagnosis as I feel people in my life will only start believing me if/when I get one. It means I'm questioning things and probably overthinking things whilst I wait (which I'm gathering is a possible ASD-trait in itself!).
One thing that doesn't seem to fit clearly is with my special interest, because it's socially acceptable. Like, I'm all for people here who are into the less NT-conventional hobbies. All interests are great, as far as I see it. Each to their own. But is anyone else's special interest, inherently normalised, like mine?
You see, my obsession has always been football/soccer. Growing up I used to play, watch, read and talk about football all day and every day. It's probably the only thing which helped me bond and join in with others. If I wasn't inherently interested and good at it from an early age, I probably wouldn't have mixed with other children all that much, if at all. As an adult, I get down when I can't watch as much of it as I used to when I was younger and without grown-up responsibilities.
It isn't the passion or the camaraderie I like. Other fans and commentators on the TV frustrate and annoy me, rather than enhancing the experience. It's the being able to see things in players or things that happen on the pitch which others don't notice which I love. Like if I watch a game live, I see fouls or offsides before anyone else around me. I can pick out young or unknown players and see potential in them really early on.
But, then, I'm not stats or facts-obsessed, which might be expected for an ASD fan. It's more like me loving being an expert-viewer or scout. And I can't get enough. I could watch every European league, if I could.
So, I'm wondering, does anyone else have a genuine love for an NT-conventional interest? And, if you're diagnosed, do you think having that interest might've meant you 'hid your ASD in the shadows' so to speak and blended in with others more than you otherwise might have if your interests were less conventional?
When my daughter was assessed in the NHS, they said her interests were normal, and she wasn’t obsessive enough, despite me trying to explain just how all consuming they were. Just because one was a particular pop group, they just said it was run of the mill. She didn’t get the diagnosis then either.
Where I’m concerned, I’ve had to analyse my life over the last year, to see if I have all the traits associated with ASD. I didn’t think I had special interests because they were normal hobbies to me. Card making, music, illustration, writing, web design to name but a few.
I’m 48, and I have had loads of special interests over my lifetime, and still have firm favourites from when I was a child. The only one which I could say is slightly ASD would be flags.
An interest for me, would be something I know everything about, spend a lot of time on, ring me calmness, and hours can pass while I’m doing it and I don’t even realise.