Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I've been thinking about joining for a while but couldn't make up my mind so today thought I give it a try and see how it goes. I was diagnosed very early but am finding living with Autism difficult now that I'm older (I'm 15 and a half). I find difficulties in so much, school is very big and frightening, my grades aren't great and I can't ask for help. I feel very isolated and sometimes depresssed. I cut myself, don't mean to, it just happens and makes me feel better about things but my arms look horrible now. I have a lot of sensory issues which I find hard to deal with. I can't wash my hair because of this so it's pretty rank at times but my mum washes it for me, she's super good like that. I do have special interests though: in nature, photography, the body and cats. Here's my cat Sowball :)
I love my cat. I also am very close with my little brother Math, he's just lovely and we get on so well. He's the only person other than mum who I feel able to hug. Math and I play games together, we colour and we eat cookies lol have lots of fun!
I am a bit worried about life after school. I can't speak to people so getting a job will be really hard and I want kids but how would I ever cope with that? And I'm worried about my depression and cutting myself but I can't speak to anyone so I don't know what to do :( I do know it's getting worse and it makes me feel really bad. Some days I have no motivation and feel so sad
If anyone else has felt this way I'd love it if we could speak please.
welcome nice kitten
don't focus on difficulties
find something else
something yours
I was close with my sisters too, I suppose they were a conduct for communication a lot, between me and the world since I started making full sentences when I was 8, but we played all kind of games together, like to compete with each other, until they reached conclusion that they don't stand a chance, but by then we were adolescents and then everyones priorities change. I'm strill unable to figure out how did we communicate, and my memories from childhood don't have speech in them
it's autistic thing - overworrying
Hi. Well at the moment I'm focusing on school work, soon school breaks up which I'm looking forward to but I do find the work hard.
Awh wow sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your sisters Sounds like you struggled a lot with speech growing up. Hope it's better for you now? Sorry I wasn't very clear. I'm deaf and mute, that's what I mean when I say I can't speak to people. I can say a few things but because I can't hear what I'm saying it's really hard so I hardly ever speak now. I've been deaf since I was six and got sick.
Yes your definitely right, overthinking and worrying all the time. Wish I could stop.
I am all good, fully vocal, speech recognition problem in my brain only, my family excluding my sisters thinks I was to stubborn to speak earlier,
and that odd thing about lack of speech in my memories I am still trying to identify, all other sounds are present normaly
complications might cause brain damage, especially parts responsible for hearing and processing sounds
I have some parts damaged probably dead too, will never know without brain MRI, but for other reasons
I had 2 serious head injuries, one at 5 and one at 10 in the back of the head both, ending up in a pool of blood unconscious for many hours, well I was a naughty and curious kid, with nobody watching over.
don't try to read all there, some stuff is biased, I did not go through all yet myself, and I'm like a sponge :P
but if you want some really good read about being autistic try this https://autistic-village.com/ all of it, a real eye opener
Awh wow that's interesting thanks for the link
Yes it was meningitis I haven't heard anything since I had that