Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello to you all, it is lovely to be part of this group. My husband is higher functioning autism. Diagnosed in last 6 years. I am struggling a bit with him at the moment. I have severe depression and anxiety and I am disabled as well. On top of that I have found a lump in my breast and and the odds are against me for it being benign. My husband gave up work 5 years ago to care for me - his choice to do so. Since then we have got married and moved home and now the above issues have hit us. He is dealing with it by laughing at everything and not understanding my need for support. I understand why he is like this as 2 of my children are on the autistic spectrum. But I am having to rely on friends for support. Any advice as to how I can handle this, relieve his anxiety and make me feel a bit supported, would be greatfully received.
Thankyou for reading.
Hi, and welcome. It sounds like he can't process this development, or realise how serious it and what you need from him. That will either take time, or you might have to find ways to reduce his anxiety and then help him understand you need him to help you. If he has given you support before then he can do it again, but if not then it will be difficult. Maybe first spend time together without mentioning difficult things so the two of you don't become distant, which is a real risk, and then do things that calm him, and try chatting about how we can support you, what you would like him to say/do. You may also have to reduce the level of support you would like from him, and settle for hugs and things that he might offer at will or be able to do when requested.