Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I've been chatting to some ladies on here who are struggling in their relationships with partners who have Aspergers or high function Autism and I've noticed there seems to be a need for support. I am in the same situation and my partner and I have a little boy aged 5, who is also on the spectrum. Life has been very tough for a few years, but my partner and I have just started counselling.
I am hoping some others will hop on board so we can all share info and experience and support each other.
I haven't intended it to be exclusively for ladies by the way.
Love Rosemary xx
Puffin - how are you doing?
I think denial is the commonest reaction. Even my brother refused to accept that our little boy [his nephew] is AS. I think it is hard for people to accept that anything could possibly be wrong with their genes [Especially men!!]
Ha ha - do you do this? I constantly see ASC traits in myself now and wonder if its my genes too. I had a bit of a moment on here a couple of days ago when I read that earplugs thread. I ALWAYS sleep with earplugs in, as I hear the tiniest of sounds. LOL, I once was woken up in the middle of the night by a minute scratching sound. It turned out to be a beetle trapped inside my toilet bag!!! I have a mega sense of smell too.
The difference is that I accept it - it doesn't help in any way, shape or form being in denial. We had a family support worker come round a week or so ago. She was completely amazing and it is she who is the catalyst for all the stuff that has happened at school. She told me that autism is just an over-emphasis of the NT world. That made such huge sense to me. I am guessing that that is how this theory of the neuron pathways not getting pruned back, has also come about. Its totally b*ggered up things at school at the mo tho. I am not sure if its possible now, to get back on the right track with them as I don't think I will ever trust them again.
My partner is really trying, I think. Its my birthday today and he has been really lovely. I think we are both on a journey. He is somewhere along the road to accepting he has AS and I have accepted it [with difficulty] and am now trying to cope with accepting that he cannot radically change.
Does your man accept that things he does that naff you off are down to the ASC? I have now started to point out to my partner when he does them [or doesn't do them!]. Its quite hard for both of us as I've had well over a decade of just accepting it, but my partner does seem to be listening SOMETIMES!!! Ha ha.
Love rosemary xxx