Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
My name is Josh. I am 25.I have a very bad stutter, I have since I could first speak. I also have social anxiety. I have always attributed my problems socially to those 2 problems.
I am intelligent, I have a first class degree in Computer Science. I have been out of work and study for 3-4 years now. I quit my job as a software Engineer because I found it over whelming.
I have become a recluse, I do not go out and I have no friends. I have no desire to change, but I know my lifestyle is damaging my future.
I have interacted with other people who stutter, through a course I went on. They were able to maintain a career and even have relationships.
I have never been able to do these things, and I started to wonder maybe I have more issues than just stuttering/anxiety. I spoke to my Mum about possibly having Autism, she thinks I do share traits with an Autism diagnosis. I spoke to my GP about it, and they have referred me to have an assessment for autism.
I am worried, because when I speak about my Autism symptoms, I feel like I am faking it. I feel like I am trying to con them into thinking I have autism. It's a really horrible feeling.I have always had a really hard time, fitting in. I never had friends at school or university. I find social interactions very overwhelming and I have a tenancy to isolate myself. I went through all of university not speaking to anyone except my flatmate.
An autism diagnosis does make a lot of sense, it would explain a lot of my struggles in life. But I am also worried, my stutter and anxiety have create autism like symptoms even though I am not autistic.
I am worried if I am diagnosed. That I won't be able to get a job again in the future. I am sorry if this is hard to read, I havnt slept and I just got home from the GP. I hope someone who knows a lot about autism reads this, and can understand my perspective.
Thank you very much for reading,
Josh
Sadly, misdiagnosis is possible, but you have to trust the professionals to do their job. Most of the time they will get it right, just not all the time. But... An Autism Diagnosis doesn't stop you getting work, I've met people on the Spectrum who've held jobs and even gotten Married and had children. It's just another part of who you are-and, as others have said, short of a direct Medical Questionnaire? You cannot be compelled to state you are on the Spectrum.As for damaging your future, welcome to the Club. Many people on the Spectrum do not go out and socialise, have trouble holding down jobs and managing stressful environments. Speaking for myself, I ended up in a shop job doing Customer Service for years because I thought I should just have A job-and was left so Depressed that I needed medication long before I finished there just to function.Also, we tend to highly intelligent and creative, neither of which are bad things, as you are. Find the right kind of job and place to work and you'll be fine, no matter what anyone might tell you. I found the best way to find that job is find people who understand being on the Spectrum who can help. If you aren't? They'll still help-and do it better than people who think you are just a bit strange.Stay strong and better luck in the future.