Oh all 6 year olds do that.

Hi, my first post but I am sure I am not the first to ask this question. Our son has been diagnosed AS since he was 3, though we knew what was wrong way before that. We have lost count of the number of friends and family that seem to think there is nothing wrong. I think I will scream if I hear one more person say "all boys do that" or "well he's only 6" as if the particular behaviour being discussed is completely normal. We just don't seem to be able to convey how his condition diplays itself. For the most part he just comes across as being a naughty or rude boy and is prone to outbursts if he does not get his own way. Most people do not see what we have to deal with because we work so hard on his behavior. I think peoples comments are meant to make us feel better but at the end of a stressful episode you would like them to try it for a week and see if they still think he is just "being a boy". This has turned out to be more of a rant than a question, the main thing being, if anyone can sum autistic spectrum in a nut shell please give me a hint.

Parents
  • Hi Wendy Woo,

    Thank you so much for posting this! I find it reassuring, and I'd actually been thinking of posting a similar comment myself. I get this a lot too, and find it very hard, as I just want to say 'Yes, but...', and it would take so long to explain the 'but...', and if people aren't with you and your child all the time and don't have similar issues with their own children, they can't see it. My son is reasonably settled at school at the moment, and he copes quite well on play dates with one other child, so other parents don't really see the extent of his difficulties, the meltdowns, anger etc. Even when he is having a meltdown about going into school, they say 'oh my child sometimes doesn't want to go in either'; I know they're trying to help me feel better, so can't really hold it against them, but I think the issue is that my son's reactions are magnified and more extreme. It's almost as if they are questioning your child's diagnosis and wondering what the problem is (or seems like that to me!), which is difficult too. I'm lucky in that some parents in the school have children with similar issues, so I do get some real understanding too!

    I wish you all the best, and please know that you are not the only one who gets this!

    Kitkat x

Reply
  • Hi Wendy Woo,

    Thank you so much for posting this! I find it reassuring, and I'd actually been thinking of posting a similar comment myself. I get this a lot too, and find it very hard, as I just want to say 'Yes, but...', and it would take so long to explain the 'but...', and if people aren't with you and your child all the time and don't have similar issues with their own children, they can't see it. My son is reasonably settled at school at the moment, and he copes quite well on play dates with one other child, so other parents don't really see the extent of his difficulties, the meltdowns, anger etc. Even when he is having a meltdown about going into school, they say 'oh my child sometimes doesn't want to go in either'; I know they're trying to help me feel better, so can't really hold it against them, but I think the issue is that my son's reactions are magnified and more extreme. It's almost as if they are questioning your child's diagnosis and wondering what the problem is (or seems like that to me!), which is difficult too. I'm lucky in that some parents in the school have children with similar issues, so I do get some real understanding too!

    I wish you all the best, and please know that you are not the only one who gets this!

    Kitkat x

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