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Oh all 6 year olds do that.

Wendy Woo

Hi, my first post but I am sure I am not the first to ask this question. Our son has been diagnosed AS since he was 3, though we knew what was wrong way before that. We have lost count of the number of friends and family that seem to think there is nothing wrong. I think I will scream if I hear one more person say "all boys do that" or "well he's only 6" as if the particular behaviour being discussed is completely normal. We just don't seem to be able to convey how his condition diplays itself. For the most part he just comes across as being a naughty or rude boy and is prone to outbursts if he does not get his own way. Most people do not see what we have to deal with because we work so hard on his behavior. I think peoples comments are meant to make us feel better but at the end of a stressful episode you would like them to try it for a week and see if they still think he is just "being a boy". This has turned out to be more of a rant than a question, the main thing being, if anyone can sum autistic spectrum in a nut shell please give me a hint.

Parents

  • Hi Wendy Woo.  I had to chip in to this one because I have a son the same age and I get the same remarks all the time!!!  It is so desperately frustrating.  The other one I hear all the time is 'It'll be fine' or something along those lines.  'It will all work out in the end'.  I think to myself "Really?  It will, will it?  How do you know?"

    After hearing it for so long, I have come to the conclusion it's what people say when they just don't know what else TO say.  Your loved ones want it to be fine, don't know how to make it so, and therefore just tell you it will be.  They can't see it from your perspective.  I know how how hard it is - you want to shake them don't you?!?

    When you have to work so hard on your sons behaviour, for people to tell you that it's normal is so upsetting.  They don't see what else is going on.  You are really not on your own.  I for one am having the same experience.  I am just trying to not to snap back at the people who love us and want to help. 

    Something else on the same lines that I find very annoying is people telling me about life lessons that 'he has to learn'.  I am talking about everyday events that he finds very distressing.  I think to myself now 'round pegs, square holes - they don't fit' and I don't put my son through anything now that causes undue distress.  But it's tough and you have to have a hide like a Rhino to overcome peoples disapproval.

    You are not on your own.  Best of luck.

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  • Hi Wendy Woo.  I had to chip in to this one because I have a son the same age and I get the same remarks all the time!!!  It is so desperately frustrating.  The other one I hear all the time is 'It'll be fine' or something along those lines.  'It will all work out in the end'.  I think to myself "Really?  It will, will it?  How do you know?"

    After hearing it for so long, I have come to the conclusion it's what people say when they just don't know what else TO say.  Your loved ones want it to be fine, don't know how to make it so, and therefore just tell you it will be.  They can't see it from your perspective.  I know how how hard it is - you want to shake them don't you?!?

    When you have to work so hard on your sons behaviour, for people to tell you that it's normal is so upsetting.  They don't see what else is going on.  You are really not on your own.  I for one am having the same experience.  I am just trying to not to snap back at the people who love us and want to help. 

    Something else on the same lines that I find very annoying is people telling me about life lessons that 'he has to learn'.  I am talking about everyday events that he finds very distressing.  I think to myself now 'round pegs, square holes - they don't fit' and I don't put my son through anything now that causes undue distress.  But it's tough and you have to have a hide like a Rhino to overcome peoples disapproval.

    You are not on your own.  Best of luck.

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