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Oh all 6 year olds do that.

Wendy Woo

Hi, my first post but I am sure I am not the first to ask this question. Our son has been diagnosed AS since he was 3, though we knew what was wrong way before that. We have lost count of the number of friends and family that seem to think there is nothing wrong. I think I will scream if I hear one more person say "all boys do that" or "well he's only 6" as if the particular behaviour being discussed is completely normal. We just don't seem to be able to convey how his condition diplays itself. For the most part he just comes across as being a naughty or rude boy and is prone to outbursts if he does not get his own way. Most people do not see what we have to deal with because we work so hard on his behavior. I think peoples comments are meant to make us feel better but at the end of a stressful episode you would like them to try it for a week and see if they still think he is just "being a boy". This has turned out to be more of a rant than a question, the main thing being, if anyone can sum autistic spectrum in a nut shell please give me a hint.

Parents

  • Hi Wendy Woo - there is absolutely not 1 word I would disagree with in your post.  There's that moment when you're trying to explain how autism affects your child  + your heart just sinks because it's  obvious they haven't a clue.  Or, as you say, they're being kind??   Excuse me??  Some people don't want to accept that someone has autism - think family, some friends, etc.   You find out who your friends are.  People without autism - neurotypicals (NTs) see the world their way.  So things can be rationalised. S/he is being "naughty", "shy" "is spoilt", "sensitive" etc.  Most people really, really, don't understand autism at all.  They've all heard the word, some have seen "Rainman" but that's about it.    Why should they understand?  I never came across it until my son was born.  It's a complicated condition to explain to those who don't understand.  Some people who don't understand also don't listen.  This means they carry on being opinionated + causing distress all round.  Sometimes these people are close relatives, friends.  They can cause loads of problems, fall outs, etc.  It wd be so helpful if a summary could be produced which could be given to people, but even then it would only scratch the surface.  In the end I think there's got to be some very plain speaking so people get the message, hopefully.    It can be a long journey to achieve some understanding of autism + how it affects your child.  Mine's an adult now, but things can still be a puzzle at times!

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  • Hi Wendy Woo - there is absolutely not 1 word I would disagree with in your post.  There's that moment when you're trying to explain how autism affects your child  + your heart just sinks because it's  obvious they haven't a clue.  Or, as you say, they're being kind??   Excuse me??  Some people don't want to accept that someone has autism - think family, some friends, etc.   You find out who your friends are.  People without autism - neurotypicals (NTs) see the world their way.  So things can be rationalised. S/he is being "naughty", "shy" "is spoilt", "sensitive" etc.  Most people really, really, don't understand autism at all.  They've all heard the word, some have seen "Rainman" but that's about it.    Why should they understand?  I never came across it until my son was born.  It's a complicated condition to explain to those who don't understand.  Some people who don't understand also don't listen.  This means they carry on being opinionated + causing distress all round.  Sometimes these people are close relatives, friends.  They can cause loads of problems, fall outs, etc.  It wd be so helpful if a summary could be produced which could be given to people, but even then it would only scratch the surface.  In the end I think there's got to be some very plain speaking so people get the message, hopefully.    It can be a long journey to achieve some understanding of autism + how it affects your child.  Mine's an adult now, but things can still be a puzzle at times!

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