Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I am new here and I like to introduce some of my stories.
I do write loads, mainly fiction.
Normally I do Aspie Village but that is closed until April.
I'm having a bladder scan to find out what's wrong with me. Ther is a possibility that little monsters could be blocking up my bladder, making it difficult to urinate.
The little pests that are blocking up my bladder have to come out, and the only way is to use a catheter with a water pistol attached to it. Also the prostate gland is making it difficult to urinate because it is a carnivore that attack's other organs inside my body.
Sometime's the prostate gland jump's up into my stomach and take's a nibble.
The only way to deal with a mad prostate gland is to shoot it with a gun loaded with gunpowder.
I am 62 years of age and have difficulty urinating.
A man had ordered a three course meal, but had to carry the entire three course set on his head as no trays were available, but this could burn him, so to protect his head he to was given a tea towel by one of the staff which he would put on top of his head.
Because he had to carry his entire three course meal set on his head, soup, main course and afters there was the real danger that it could all fall off his head whilst making his way to the pay desk, so he had to hold them up with his hands and how hot it was.
After he had paid the man got one of the staff to carry the three course meal to the table, using a carrier dog - a dog carrying a three course meal on it's back to the table.
There, in front of the man was a reserved table, reserved for members of Micky Den Day Centre.
As the man was about to tuck in to his grub something moved. It was the meat on his plate. It started to scream as the man was about cut it up with the knife. In fact, it was alive, and, to make matters worse, a piece of the meat jumped up to his face and bit him. He let out a yell, this frightened the dinner. The dinner tried to escape, but couldn't because it was dead.
Ann Ketchup, the woman who was running the Micky Den group on the table had to summon one of the cooks about the meat that went mad and bit one of it's members.
Apparently the meat wasn't slaughtered properly in the a abattoir, but was safe to eat, the only trouble being that that the meat was disturbed by the man slicing it with a knife and it bit him.
The mad meat had to be incinerated so it shouldn't attack anyone else.
In compensation the man had his dinner changed.
The chef brought along to him another meal to make up for the mayhem that was caused by a rogue dinner.
The incident described above wasn't the only disaster for there was the case of the man - eating potatoes discovered on a plate as a day centre user was trying to eat his dinner.
What happened was that, as the user was trying to eat his meal the potatoes turned on him and devoured him. The man - eating potatoes then went on the rampage gobbling everyone up, staff included.
All hell broke loose as person after person was devoured by the carnivorous potatoes. The potatoes then burst into the manager's office, but as she tried to defend herself they turned on her and ate her.
Before long the centre was completely devoid of people.
The man - eating potatoes had devoured them all, the whole lot of them.
At 3pm it was time for the day centre users to go home. The driver had to ring the bell on the door, but got no answer, but, just as he was about to get out his mobile phone and make a call the man - eating potatoes, burst though the window and started top chase him. Ina mad rush he got on the bus and slammed the door as the potatoes were trying to barge their way in and drove off, with the potatoes following him. All of a sudden the mad potatoes smashed their way into the bus through the window and devoured the driver. As a result the bus crashed. Luckily one of the police happened to be walking down the street. He got out his gun and tried to kill the man - eating potatoes, but they went for him just the same and made a meal of him. Luckily the school kids happened to be coming out of school as it was home time for they witnessed the man - eating potatoes gobbling up the policeman and had to call the army on their mobiles, but, before they could do anything the potatoes started to chase them and ran like mad, but, unfortunately the man - eating potatoes pounced on one of the kids and ate him.
In a mad rush the rest of them ran out into Woodford Avenue. Luckily the army was there. They got out their machine guns as the potatoes tried to eat the pupils and opened fire, but even the guns were no match for the army. The potatoes pounced them and in no time the entire army had been eaten. The school kids then ran like mad and got on the bus in a scramble to get away from the man - eating potatoes. The potatoes then went for someone else.
The bus driver had to drive as fast as possible in a desperate rush to get away from the man - eating potatoes.
The driver had to phone the army and police and a curfew was applied where everyone had to remain indoors and not allowed out on the streets until the potatoes were caught and killed before they could eat anyone else.
Once indoors the street door had to be locked and furniture put against the door so that the man - eating potatoes couldn't burst into the house and gobble up the occupants.
The was one weapon that could kill the man - eating potatoes - an barbaric acid bomb.
The acid bombs were dropped from police helicopters and in an instant killed the potatoes.
The reign of terror was over.
The mad scientist who was responsible for creating and engineering the man - eating potatoes got sent to prison for 50,000 years.