Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,I'm a 38 year old female and I think I may have Asperger's. My GP is going to refer me for an assessment.
I've always found socialising difficult, but thought I was just shy or had social anxiety. But recently I noticed something worrying: I keep falling out with friends or offending them without intending to. I don't know if this is a symptom of Asperger's or not? Could someone clarify this? The worrying thing was that I couldn't predict when it was going to happen, and sometimes I didn't even understand why it had happened. That's when I started researching and trying to find out what the problem could be. When I read about Asperger's, and symptoms like 'masking', I realised that I have masked all my life. I realised that maybe the reason I have low self esteem is because I could never understand why I couldn't be social like others could.
Anyway, I am very pleased to have found this community. Thank you! It is great to know that I'm not alone in this experience.
I have some questions about diagnosis. I am somewhat worried because I understand that many high-functioning autistic females are misdiagnosed. I've read that if you do get an Asperger's diagnosis, you can access help and support. Can anyone tell me what kind of help you can access, specifically in terms of therapy: can you get help developing social skills, and help for low self esteem and anxiety, for example? What kind of therapy is it? Can you get to the stage where you can function more easily and get less anxious?
If I get diagnosed as NOT autistic, can I still participate in this forum? I guess I could still read self-help books for Asperger's, and use what is relevant? I am currently on the waiting list for CBT for anxiety (I have had therapy several times in my life, for issues including an eating disorder, low self esteem, anxiety, and insomnia, and I'm currently waiting for more therapy). I suppose I could tell the therapist that I suspect I have Asperger's, but they wouldn't be able to give me specialist help for autism, but perhaps they could help me with social anxiety.
Thank you!
Ultramarine have you by any chance heard of borderline personality disorder? One of my fave comedians has it, & based off your description it could be asd or that condition.
Symptoms include emotional instability, feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, impulsivity, and impaired social relationships.(I copied & pasted this.
what you may or may not have
Hi Mark,
Thanks for taking the time to write and suggest this. I don't think it sounds like me, but hopefully when I go for an ASD assessment, if I don't have ASD then the assessors might be able to tell me if I have another condition instead.
Hello,
I am 29 and was diagnosed with asd about 3 weeks ago.
I did end up going to see a private clinical psychologist because unfortunately the autism service in my area, still holds a very male stereotypical view of autism and I was deemed to be able to function too highly to warrant a diagnosis.
I was referred by my GP to the calderde service about july 2020, and had my first assessment September 2020, second October and then recieved the answer in November.
I then sought out private clinical psychologist, (who I was informed had experience diagnosing females) around march 2021 and had my assessment June and was diagnosed with ASD but he also suspected ADHD, which I was at first surprised about but now it makes sense.
Anyways, even through all this process I was adamant that I was right that I was autistic, I still felt really nervous going private, because the first experience of assessment was not good, but going private was so much different and made me feel validated and listened too.
When I was doing my research I did have times were I worried that I was not going to be diagnosed because I was reading and watching about other peoples experiences of being autistic, some I related to and some I didn't.
Looking back on my recent assessment in June and reading the report with everything pulled together I think crikey some things I do I did not even realise they were because of being autistic.
For example, in my assessment the psychologist asked if I collected things. I immediately said "no" because reading from others experencies who may collect things like coins, stamps etc. My partner who was in the assessment then said "yes you do. You collect clothes"
So I like secondhand clothes and reflecting on this now, I do have a lot, but clothes to me are a necessity and I wouldn't of put it down as a collection, until the psychologist asked percentage of clothes I wear and do I let my partner put them away, how would I feel if my partner got rid of some without me knowing. I replied I wear about 30% of my clothes, he doesnt put them away because he would not put them away properly and I would be really upset if he got rid of some.
It was helpful having my partner in during the assessment because he said/noticed indications of autism that I did not and believe me, I thought I was pretty clued up on it due to the constant researching that I do!
Hi Out_of_step,
Thanks for offering, I appreciate it! I'm investigating places in London now.
I'm at the other end of the country. So there's probably not much point. Unless you want me to anyway.