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just new need advice

so proud

Hi guys only joined so plz be gentle ,thought i would join in after reading great advice and support from u all .

i am in need of some advice , i have a 12 year old boy 2years ago found out he was dyslexic after we took him private as school didnt want to know .the school he was at in primary we had to fight all the way and it did get tough for all of us .he was referred to autism clinic about 1 and 6mths ago after what seemed a long time they found although he has strong traits it wasnt enough for a diagnose .he was however sent to adhd clinic who did diagnose him ,he has been on tablets for over a year now .when we first took his tablets it took 10 days and gosh do we have a different child in some ways .since starting high school and now getting help, support and on his tablets .he is scoring so well mostly 88% on most tests .he can think better sometimes, not move as much and sometimes  he now makes better discisions for himself .

what is happening now is although he is doing well he still has issues that havnt disappeared with his tablets .still has routine problems if changed lots of melt downs if anxious really cant cope socially keeps head down and u have to ignore him or he goes off on one then he comes round ok  in november he was re-referred back to the autism clinic by his doctor .my fear is when we go back to autism clinic and told no where does that leave us .its as if u get a no and ur forgotton about but it doesnt mean everything goes away we still have to use ways to help him cope .

has anyone else gone through this i just cant understand how u need ways to cope everyday but told no  

Parents

  • My son was born in 61 and teh few references to autism were 'hidden intelligence' and  parents not bonding. We were devoted parents but took a lot of looking after and Drs not interested he was healthy and looked fine. We were on our own both medically and finacnially no child beneifot for first borns. Sent him to local school who couldn't cope nor could ESN (educationally subnormal) ended up in SSN (Severly subnormal) school and lived at home till he was 24. Autism never mentioned. "Mentally handicapped" was the term. He tehn went to love in a residential home about 20 minutes from where we live, not entirely happy there but also gettign day care at a centre and we picked him up every weekend and high dasy adn holidays. By now was calling him autistic he had the traditional behaviour patterns and special charactistics, very numerate, indeed obseesed, think rainman. At weekends play a lot of cards, particulary with his father, when he is at his best socially and conversationally, he is very competant. Despite haveing  little road sense, well in paractice, where it counts, his behaviour generally  seems to lag behind his comprehension.  

    I have often suggested cards at his residentail home but  always told not enough staff.

    In October went over to Assisted Living and was led to beleive it would all change for the better. It doesnt seem to have made much difference, things he was 'supported' with gettignto day centre, sahved, laudry etc now come under ali otted 'hours' but no visits to pub and in about 27 years he ahsnt had a game of cards yet. INdeed he has said he doesnt want to play with them, despite coercing strangers into a game when we are out 

    I have tried to get help from the staff, new and old, but tehy seem to gang up and am made to feel I'm interferign and askign for the moon. We aslo take him out for wlaks as he dosn't seem yo leave the house unless its for his day centre. He is on alot of medication none of which he took whene living at home and I feel it is slowing him down and he is overweight.  

    We are in our early seventies and he is 51 I feel we should be able to hand over his social as well as his basic care.

Reply

  • My son was born in 61 and teh few references to autism were 'hidden intelligence' and  parents not bonding. We were devoted parents but took a lot of looking after and Drs not interested he was healthy and looked fine. We were on our own both medically and finacnially no child beneifot for first borns. Sent him to local school who couldn't cope nor could ESN (educationally subnormal) ended up in SSN (Severly subnormal) school and lived at home till he was 24. Autism never mentioned. "Mentally handicapped" was the term. He tehn went to love in a residential home about 20 minutes from where we live, not entirely happy there but also gettign day care at a centre and we picked him up every weekend and high dasy adn holidays. By now was calling him autistic he had the traditional behaviour patterns and special charactistics, very numerate, indeed obseesed, think rainman. At weekends play a lot of cards, particulary with his father, when he is at his best socially and conversationally, he is very competant. Despite haveing  little road sense, well in paractice, where it counts, his behaviour generally  seems to lag behind his comprehension.  

    I have often suggested cards at his residentail home but  always told not enough staff.

    In October went over to Assisted Living and was led to beleive it would all change for the better. It doesnt seem to have made much difference, things he was 'supported' with gettignto day centre, sahved, laudry etc now come under ali otted 'hours' but no visits to pub and in about 27 years he ahsnt had a game of cards yet. INdeed he has said he doesnt want to play with them, despite coercing strangers into a game when we are out 

    I have tried to get help from the staff, new and old, but tehy seem to gang up and am made to feel I'm interferign and askign for the moon. We aslo take him out for wlaks as he dosn't seem yo leave the house unless its for his day centre. He is on alot of medication none of which he took whene living at home and I feel it is slowing him down and he is overweight.  

    We are in our early seventies and he is 51 I feel we should be able to hand over his social as well as his basic care.

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