Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter is nearly 7 (year 2) and was diagnosed 2 years ago. She is in mainstream and they have no major concerns as she is quiet and manages her work. However at home she is becoming increasingly anxious, everything she has held together in the school day comes out at home and she struggles with her emotions. She gets so upset and hopeless and thinks she is terrible at everything despite lots of reassurance and encouragement and us being positive. She finds friendships hard and is heartbroken if she thinks people are upset with her so will do anything to people please which is obviously a concern as she gets older. she is struggling with sleep and separation anxiety at night. I can see little warning signs that I know will cause her upset as she grows up. She struggles with noise and the hustle and bustle of school that I have no idea how she would cope in the local secondary in a few years and that fills me with dread, I did bring up ehcp with the teacher who dismissed that completely and said she is coping ok with the (minimal) sen support she already has. I can see that her anxiety is increasing and I don't know what steps I should be taking so any advice would he appreciated. Many thanks
I'm really pleased to hear how your son has progressed and I wish him all the best for the future as he makes the decisions of what to do next. It sometimes feels so overwhelming looking to the future especially with how things are at the moment so it really helps to hear from your experience.
When he was in primary school we were all in quite a bad place but since then and specifically since he's been at senior school he has come on leaps and bounds. Of course there have been ups and downs but we are so happy with how he has progressed. The next challenge for us is leaving school and either college or an apprenticeship but it's trying to find something that he will enjoy doing. he doesn't really enjoy school that much from an academic level and the uniform too due to his sensory processing. But we are optimistic for the future.
Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciate it and it's really reassuring to hear that your son has learnt to deal with things as he has grown, it certainly gives me hope.
Hi,
I think with the school you just really need to push the case with them, some are very unhelpful. Also are there any extended services in your area for family support workers? We had one who helped out no end and also got people a lot more involved in the school. Quite a lot of these things are down to finance with the schools but they should get this back from the government.
The SEN at our sons school is very good, he is in mainstream senior school and has adjusted very well, he has ups and downs but the school are extremely helpful. I would recommend researching the senior schools in your area and what their SEN departments are like. It does very much depend on the school!
Anxiety wise it is a case of trying to teach techniques to help, we used to use blowing bubbles to help with breathing and make it fun, you can just use some washing up liquid in a bowl with a straw and then they can pop the bubbles after.
Our son has more sensory problems to do with touch, so we did compression play pushing and pulling etc It's just researching what would help with your daughter.
It might also be worth getting an oil diffuser and some oils, lavender etc to help her relax too.
Having a nice bedtime routine that can hopefully get her settled will make that a lot easier.
Our son was very much like that at primary school, as soon as he got in all the anxiety he had held all day just used to overflow. As he has grown he has learn't how to deal with things better and has become more social at school, he has a small group of friends at school that he plays online with aswell.
Thank you very much, this is really helpful thanks
Thank you very much for replying. I will have a look.
Hi Becky,
Sorry to hear that your daughter is going through a rough patch. I was wondering if this would help on the friendship side of things - This page shows social groups for those with autism, it might be worth while having a look there to see if there was anything that your daughter might be interested in? https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/support-in-the-community/social-groups
Maybe also see if there are any social groups in your area for children with autism?
Hope that helps,
SarahMod
research and teach her mindfulness techniques for young children to start practising fighting anxiety and odd thoughts
and anti panic attack stuff like box breathing so she can resist sudden panic/anxiety attack.s
they teach mindfulness in schools in USA its useful for 60-70% of autistics