Hi! I think im Autistic and trying to figure it out in my mid 30's

Hey Everyone, I'm Pax (He/They).

I am in the process of getting assessed for ADHD, which they confirmed I had, and in the process I was told I had a lot of autism traits and that I may want to look into an assessment.

I'm 35, Dyslexic, and have had a very long history of Mental health issues, mainly depression and anxiety and at one point was told I likely had bipolar (though that is an odd story), I'm also Pan, Ace, and Floating around somewhere in the Gender non-binary sea, which I only mention because I've heard that being non-binary is statistically significant in Autism.

I will freely admit I had the wrong idea about Autism when I heard this, mainly due to my lack of education on the matter and my immediate reaction was "Don't be ridiculous", however I did what I assume is a very common reaction and went down a massive youtube rabbit hole and I found I clicked massively with what I was seeing and so much so over the last week I've been getting increasingly more convinced I am. 

Hearing of experiences of feeling like an alien walking around a world I don't understand and trying my best to fit in and descriptions of masking really made the lightbulb click on. Remembering back to times I was literally a host of a house party and I could only stay long enough to say "Hi" before I had to leave and retreat to my bedroom because it all became too much. Stimming behaviors and passive self-harm such as picking etc. These are all things I do and have done for as long as I remember among many others and don't even get me started on specialist subjects!

Anyway I could wax lyrical about this all day and I have a great penchant for over-explaining but the long and short of it is, these are my first tentative steps into seeking out people in the autistic community.

I understand this must be something that happens multiple times a day but if anyone feels inclined to answer I do have a few questions I'd love to get some insight into.

1/ Anyone has any good books on Adult Autism they would like to recommend? I've heard people mention that the field has changed a lot in the last 10 years so I don't want to just jump in there and find I've been reading something wholly debunked. It would be best if it was available in Audiobook btw.

2/ Would anyone like to share insights into getting diagnosed? Mainly from the point of view of if it's worth doing. I was surprised to hear from several YouTubers official diagnosis isn't necessarily a given.

3/ If you were diagnosed as an adult, what was it you wished someone had told you at my stage?

Thank you in advance to anyone that answers any of those, and if my question is treading old ground I'd love it if you could link me to those topics. I'm trying to read through as much as I can but the Dyslexia and ADHD are fickle beasts that make me get distracted and stare at the shiny R2D2 on my desk when I get bored and tired of words. Also, anyone who wants to ask me questions I'm more than happy to talk so feel free to ask.

Thank you once again, Pax