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Please help me!

Vic

Hello

My youngest son (7) has just been diagnosed with mild, high-functioning Asperger's. I also have a daughter (12) and another son (9). My husband's job means we are temporarily living in Cairo, Egypt, although we are a regular English family.

I have no idea how to deal with this. I feel thoroughly overwhelmed and the stress is making me react badly when Ben has a meltdown. Of course this makes everything 10 times worse!

Ben is possibly about to get kicked out of school because of his behaviour and we are struggling to find a special school for him here. So my husband may have to quit his job, in order for us to move back home, so Ben can be schooled! We would face financial disaster if this happened.

I doubt anyone can advise me about Asperger's help in Cairo, but please please please can anyone help me get help with my coping strategies! Our situation and Ben's condition are what they are; the way in which I react to it and cope with it are utterly crucial right now.

I am cracking up! Help!!! Cry

Vic

  • dear Ben's Mum,

    contact your embassy, they would not be able to exclude your child only on a diagnosis in the UK due to anti discrimination laws, and this as british citizens extends with you.

    tell the school that you are getting consular advice, regardless of outcome. this will emphasis that you are a guest in the country and that the schools reputation may tarnish by turning away a family in need of assistance and understanding

    you are understandably distressed, but do not get angry. being the distressed mother wanting the best for your son will get you a lot further with Arab authorities than anger - anger will stop discussions and all forthcoming help dead.

    otter

     

  • If you google:  Autism. Cairo, you'll see a number of websites and organisations listed, including an expats forum, which might help you with practical help or mutual support locally to you.   Smile

  • Hi Vic

    Welcome to the NAS Community. We hope you're able to find support through our online material and also as other community members offer their help, as crystal12 has done above.

    Our website has a few helpful tip on strategies and approaches to help with various difficult situations: http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/strategies-and-approaches.aspx. If you haven't heard of this already, the SPELL framework is really helpful for understanding aand responding to tthe needs of children and adults on the autism spectrum: http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/strategies-and-approaches/spell.aspx.

    We have advice for how to cope with home life too andd difficulties faced with environments and surroundings: http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/at-home/environment-and-surroundings.aspx

    Hopefully some of this is helpful and please contact community.manager@nas.org.uk if you'd like further info.

    Best wishes,
    Mike, NAS 

  • hi - welcome.  There's loads of info on this site, via the home page + also the posts.  Can you tell us a bit more about Ben, such as is he verbal, things about the problems at school etc.  You're right to identify that how you react to Ben when he has a meltdown is counter-productive.  He's looking for sympathy, help etc.  Also it's, obviously, always better to avoid a melt down occurring in the 1st place.  So it's important you identify what triggers his meltdowns.  Whether his school can be helpful in this area is important.  Also think in detail about what happens at home.  He'll respond well to a routine which should not be varied unless unavoidable.  Some children like to see this routine pictorally, others are ok with it being written down, or both.  I understand you're trying to stabalise a difficult situation for all of you.  This may be difficult if the school aren't up to speed about autism + how it affects him as an individual.  Some people with autism have sensory issues.  A sensitivtiy to noise is not uncommon, it's identifying what noises.  Also some have a sensitivity to textures such as clothing, food when put into the mouth.  Also sensitivities to certain smells.  There again, Ben may only be affected my in 1 area, perhaps.  Have a look around the site.  Please try not to respond to him as you would a neurotypical child.  It won't work as you know.  Stay calm, stay really patient.  He may not like hugs - there again he may like big squeezes - you'll know better than me.  Does he understand what you're saying?  If he does keep your voice/mannerisms calm - like-wise your body language.  Don't give him any extra sensory oveload.  Others will reply to you.  bw